Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I now know what it feels like to violently sneeze while a nurse still has a needle in your arm. FML

#21525526
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1342) - you deserved it (95)

On 02/12/2016 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

#21525521
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1206) - you deserved it (256)

On 02/12/2016 at 2:10pm - health - by neveragain (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, a teacher told me in all seriousness that she believes my son, who has severe learning difficulties, is likely demonically possessed. I'm sorry, but what century are we living in? Now I have to get him moved to another school so he doesn't have to be in the care of this nutjob. FML

#21525510
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1455) - you deserved it (100)

On 02/12/2016 at 1:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a short guy asked me how the world looked "up there", as I'm really tall. I decided to lift him up so he could see for himself. I failed both times I tried, to the great amusement of everyone watching. FML

#21525498
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7483) - you deserved it (2503)

On 02/12/2016 at 1:22pm - misc - by SK8WITME (man) - India

deathstroke990's comment : as a tall person whose been asked that many times, I can honestly say that I've never thought about lifting them up to be my height kudos

See all the comments →

Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML

#21525488
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7663) - you deserved it (1260)

On 02/12/2016 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wet dreams - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was cuddling with the man I've been seeing, and he started caressing the mammoth of all pimples on my back. He continued fondling me while lecturing me on the dangers of skin cancer. FML

#21525452
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7553) - you deserved it (695)

On 02/12/2016 at 10:13am - health - by tooembarrassed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom told me she wasn't an alcoholic because she doesn't get "black out drunk" daily. She only gets drunk enough to slur her words and reek of alcohol daily, so it's okay. FML

#21525409
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12713) - you deserved it (801)

On 02/12/2016 at 5:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML

#21525394
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11985) - you deserved it (818)

On 02/12/2016 at 4:00am - intimacy - by scarredforlife (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was playing Badminton in P.E, and I was paired with a particularly pretty girl, who for some reason kept asking stupid questions that we both knew the answers to. I've only now just realized that she was trying to initiate conversation with me. This is why I have no friends. FML

#21525372
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12788) - you deserved it (3767)

On 02/12/2016 at 2:50am - love - by oblivious idiot -

BlueBaronBitch's comment : I feel bad but at the same time I feel bad for the girl for trying so hard

See all the comments →

Today, I got my very first tattoo. Excited, I sent a picture to my best friend. Her response? "You're joking, right?" FML

#21525357
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10696) - you deserved it (2492)

On 02/12/2016 at 1:41am - misc - by fml - Canada (Alberta)

Ethan_Anonymous's comment : That's the great thing about tattoos. Only you have to like it

See all the comments →

Today, I found out that every time my boyfriend has cutely joked about my clothes not matching while we're just lounging around the house, he's really been hoping I would catch on that he thinks I look like a slob. FML

#21525356
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11296) - you deserved it (2143)

On 02/12/2016 at 1:26am - misc - by Rachel - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes singing along, I heard a knock on my front door. I turned off the music and opened the door to the police, who stated they had to investigate reports of "repeated female screams" coming from my apartment. I'm a 23 year old man. FML

#21525261
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12608) - you deserved it (1371)

On 02/11/2016 at 7:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. Midway through the speech I'd prepared, I fainted and hit my head against a wall. FML

#21525248
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12925) - you deserved it (1543)

On 02/11/2016 at 6:18pm - love - by HelpPlease - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: