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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my drunken mom began to frantically scream "YEAH" "WOO HOO" and "ALRIGHT" at some kindergarteners that were singing Amazing Grace silently in honor for the restaurant owner who had recently died. FML

#21365671
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (407) - you deserved it (38)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by RadioactiveKush - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was checking the families computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (390) - you deserved it (59)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4314) - you deserved it (414)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

#21365302
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3725) - you deserved it (419)

On 02/28/2015 at 2:53pm - misc - by jojolee68 (woman) - United States

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5994) - you deserved it (19255)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

ohjoy15's comment : It's really hard to feel sorry for you here when you opened an envelope that wasn't yours. Especially one that said "private and confidential" as a last chance warning. Totally deserved it.

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Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

#21365201
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11962) - you deserved it (937)

On 02/28/2015 at 11:23am - love - by great (man) - United States (Texas)

kangx1's comment : Just casually lure her to an asylum

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Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

#21365151
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20543) - you deserved it (2383)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Pancakes017's comment : How romantic

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Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

#21365080
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19565) - you deserved it (1278)

On 02/28/2015 at 4:04am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

#21364994
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18403) - you deserved it (2194)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:22am - health - by fine (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

#21364983
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21074) - you deserved it (2948)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:03am - intimacy - by FreshDonuts (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML

#21364935
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17231) - you deserved it (1531)

On 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by bobjope -

Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML

#21364892
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19915) - you deserved it (2192)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I broke my leg. My mom told me I still have to go to tennis class tomorrow because the course isn't refundable. FML

#21364862
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20411) - you deserved it (1446)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:25pm - health - by Ouch (woman) - Hong Kong



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Friday 27 February 2015

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