Today, I realized that the black leggings I wear quite often become see-through when I bend over. I have been showing the world my ass as well as my thong for over a month now. FML

by ChrissySoltys / 05/02/2011 at 2:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

livgasms's comment : this happened to me too, except it was my yoga suit and I was commando FML.

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Today, I realized that the cashier at the liquor store and I are already on a first-name basis. I just moved to this town a week ago. FML

by alchy / 05/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom told my abusive ex-boyfriend, whom I broke up with 5 days ago, that he is always welcome at my house. She "misses him". FML

by exnotwelcome19 / 05/01/2011 at 9:05pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

by Cassie / 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm / Animals

Matty1188's comment : Maybe you should be responsible and carry a bag or two with you when you walk your dog.

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Today, my mom informed me that she doesn't wash my clothes anymore. Instead, she sprays them with Febreze to "save money". FML

by dirtyclothess / 05/01/2011 at 8:01pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 2:49pm / New Zealand (Southland) / Miscellaneous

Today, the tree that my neighbors have neglected to cut down fell on my car. They claim that by law, they aren't responsible and don't have to pay for it. FML

by me / 05/01/2011 at 12:31pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

TaylorTotsYumm's comment : Get a crane to place the tree on top of their car.

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Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to take a pair of scissors to all my bras. My mom can't take me shopping for another three days and I have no one to borrow a bra from. I have school. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 12:11pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML

by nothanks / 05/01/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriends dog. After several trips around the block and plenty of strange looks I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

by Username / 05/01/2011 at 4:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML

by Steve.mc / 05/01/2011 at 3:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

by rb / 05/01/2011 at 2:02am / United States / Animals

Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 1:50am / United States (Kentucky) / Money