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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at work, a little boy shyly told his mom he thought I was cute. I smiled at him as she looked me up and down and said to him, "Eww, honey. No, you do not!" FML

#13853853
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35949) - you deserved it (3010)

On 11/15/2010 at 3:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me a magic trick. He filled a bowl with wine, pushed it on top of the ceiling using a broom stick, and held it up there. He told me to hold it and left. Taking my hands off the broomstick would cause the bowl to fall on my expensive new suit. Eventually, it did. FML

#13851970
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29388) - you deserved it (11973)

On 11/15/2010 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after spending two weeks renovating my room and $1000 on paint and a new floor, my landlord told me that he's sold the house. Also, he was kind enough to inform me that unless I paint the walls back to white, I won't be getting my $500 deposit back. FML

#13850777
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24773) - you deserved it (18784)

On 11/15/2010 at 7:06am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I had to spend £200 at the dentist for fillings and repairs to my teeth. Why do I need them? Because I'm stressed about money and grind my teeth in the night because of it. FML

#13850760
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27352) - you deserved it (4374)

On 11/15/2010 at 7:05am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

#13850566
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79181) - you deserved it (4489)

On 11/15/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by xkal174 - United States (New York)

Today, a guy at work was ranking the girls we work with in the order he'd want to date them. He told me I was 6th "because personality is important, too." FML

#13850152
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28365) - you deserved it (5245)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML

#13850065
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27371) - you deserved it (2448)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

#13849266
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27429) - you deserved it (8748)

On 11/15/2010 at 2:26am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML

#13848931
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33760) - you deserved it (4507)

On 11/15/2010 at 1:48am - misc - by mynameisarmpit (man) -

Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a make-shift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

#13847901
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21130) - you deserved it (6525)

On 11/15/2010 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my family had a secret meeting on my "puberty issues." I'm 21. FML

#13847372
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30219) - you deserved it (3492)

On 11/14/2010 at 11:26pm - intimacy - by vansboy -

Today, I was alone in my dorm room rehearsing comments to make in my writing class tomorrow. I grew up with a severe stutter, and rehearsing like this is one of the ways I keep my speech under control. What I didn't plan on was my roommate walking in. I think she now thinks I'm schizophrenic. FML

#13846681
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25038) - you deserved it (2818)

On 11/14/2010 at 10:43pm - misc - by stutterernotschizophrenic (woman) -

Today, my fiancé admitted to me that the only reason he's attracted to me and asked me to marry him is because I look and act like his favorite anime character. FML



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