Today, I realized that I text my boyfriend more than I see him. He's my next door neighbor. FML

by Emily J. / 06/17/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML

by Willow / 06/17/2011 at 7:32pm / United States / Intimacy

EllOfficial's comment : how feminine of him

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Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML

by Hannah / 06/17/2011 at 5:24pm / Ireland (Sligo) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up early to prepare for my graduation party. I'd invited the entire graduating class of 2011, and tons of people confirmed that they were going to come. Two hours after the time I'd told everyone to show up, I'm still the only one here. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2011 at 5:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

volley4eva1698's comment : forever alone

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Today, I have an eight hour transatlantic flight and the person sitting next to me has already filled his third sick bag. This wouldn't be quite so bad were we not still at the terminal with passengers still boarding the plane. FML

by ajdown / 06/17/2011 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation

Today, I was almost done getting ready for a really big date, when I heard my dad call for help from outside. I rushed downstairs and out the door, only to be ambushed and showered by my father with the garden hose. FML

by anonymous / 06/17/2011 at 3:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was at the water park, when I slipped and fell to the ground in front of the no running sign. I was walking. FML

by NoRunning / 06/17/2011 at 3:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I dropped my camera into water. The good news is that it's waterproof. The bad news is I dropped it off London Bridge. All the pictures and videos of my four-month trip around Europe were on it. FML

by catherine / 06/17/2011 at 7:32am / United Kingdom (London) / Holidays

idrum3990's comment : luckily for you the London bridge is falling down so you should be able to go get it!

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Today, I woke up to NYPD detectives banging on my door with flashlights, looking for some criminal who used to live in my house. Apparently, when they showed the man's mugshot to my neighbors upstairs, for some reason they identified the man as my husband. FML

by ari / 06/17/2011 at 7:06am / United States / Love

Today, I spent a full hour working on my British accent. FML

by seriouslybored / 06/17/2011 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally used the statistics book that I forked out $120 to buy. To kill an ant. FML

by jaybob18 / 06/17/2011 at 2:07am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I was passed over for the job of my dreams. I now have to watch as a girl I have on Facebook - a total moron - boasts daily about scoring the position instead. Turns out the interviewer was her uncle. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2011 at 12:50am / Australia / Work

Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML

by ekoblick / 06/17/2011 at 12:34am / United States / Health