Today, I found out that the school principal takes all the money from the school fund raisers to buy herself donuts. I'd donated over $100. FML

by Golden~ / 06/01/2011 at 5:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Jacobt24's comment : I always wondered why schools say they need more money -_-

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Today, the elevator in my apartment building broke down. I live on the 30th floor and am still climbing the stairs. FML

by Username / 06/01/2011 at 4:09am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML

by Lifeless / 06/01/2011 at 3:39am / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend and I were driving to a costume party. On the way, we got into an argument and she kicked me out of her car. I had to walk around the city center in an Iron Man outfit trying to find the party venue. FML

by 2ndplacechamp / 06/01/2011 at 1:43am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wrote in my own yearbook with different styles of handwriting so my mom would think I have friends. FML

by nofriends / 06/01/2011 at 12:28am / Japan (Tokyo) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend refused to take me out on our three year anniversary because he was busy, "training to become a professional gamer." FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2011 at 8:50pm / Brazil / Geek

Today, I was stood up by a blind date. After calling and texting her about being a horrible person, she called me from the hospital. She was in a car accident. FML

by bfall74 / 05/31/2011 at 6:35pm / Canada / Transportation

dreamering's comment : Your "Blind" date had a car accident? No shit.

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Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML

by Loveandpoetry / 05/31/2011 at 5:12pm / Love

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML

by chickennbenchpress / 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

ADub55's comment : awkward...

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Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML

by kaleigh / 05/31/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 12 year old cousin decided that "all men are pigs" and deleted every male contact in my phone. FML

by Ann / 05/31/2011 at 12:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I came home from work to find my computer smashed into a hundred pieces. My dad threw it at my mom because they were having a fight and my computer was the closest thing to throw. He refuses to fix it. FML

by Taurus_ChicKa / 05/31/2011 at 12:44pm / United States (Kansas) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

by mrsekko / 05/31/2011 at 8:44am / United States / Health