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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went over to my mother-in-law's house to have dinner. I was excited she invited me, since I thought she didn't like me. I ended up hanging her Christmas lights in a snowstorm while they had s'mores by the fire. FML

#13943289
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28769) - you deserved it (4024)

On 11/22/2010 at 10:58pm - misc - by heronlydaughter (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML

#13940137
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30475) - you deserved it (9544)

On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I admitted to my boyfriend of three years that I have been suffering from depression for a while now. He took it as a good time to dump me. FML

#13939076
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32619) - you deserved it (4179)

On 11/22/2010 at 5:39pm - love - by Username -

Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML

#13939042
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31659) - you deserved it (5045)

On 11/22/2010 at 5:35pm - misc - by anti-peecleaner (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML

#13938957
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27632) - you deserved it (3806)

On 11/22/2010 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to get my hair highlighted at the salon. The salonist mixed up my blonde hair dye with some other girl's hot pink and violet dye. Now I look like a cheap hooker. FML

#13938370
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32852) - you deserved it (5196)

On 11/22/2010 at 4:14pm - misc - by linda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML

#13937694
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34132) - you deserved it (10542)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

#13937569
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37528) - you deserved it (8102)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was showing my Mom how to use the Internet on her phone. As there was bad reception, it said "Unexpected Failure." Seeing it, she muttered under her breath, "Just like you, then..." FML

#13937046
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32224) - you deserved it (2955)

On 11/22/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by unexpected_failure (man) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, while babysitting, I brought over some colouring-in sheets as an activity. I said that I should bring some Christmas-themed ones for next time. The little girl then turned to me and said "If there is a next time." I've been put on probation by an 8-year-old. FML

#13936248
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24779) - you deserved it (3925)

On 11/22/2010 at 11:33am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I helped two people find the central station on my way home. As a thank you, they mugged me and stole my wallet and iPod Touch. FML

#13935751
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31175) - you deserved it (3973)

On 11/22/2010 at 10:25am - misc - by americanized (man) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML

#13935466
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33800) - you deserved it (7295)

On 11/22/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by dumbteacher -

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

#13934801
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30007) - you deserved it (3916)

On 11/22/2010 at 7:29am - intimacy - by shopper242 - France



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