by wooowmom / 06/04/2011 at 9:10pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML
by Burned / 06/04/2011 at 8:54pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 06/04/2011 at 4:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
JacksonCampbell's comment : How'd that work out for you?
Today, I received a phone call at work about an emergency and I had to come home immediately. I arrived to find that no one had been hurt and the house hadn't burned down. The "emergency" was my mom ran out of milk and cigarettes. FML
by A / 06/04/2011 at 3:48pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
by Flarewolf / 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML
by hcflorence1 / 06/04/2011 at 1:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
by TMI / 06/04/2011 at 12:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by missbutthole / 06/04/2011 at 9:07am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I found out my ex boyfriend's band has become quite popular on YouTube. My friends and sister won't stop singing their songs. Most of them were written after I dumped him, and go on to say how much better off he is without me and how horrible I am. FML
by guttedgirl / 06/04/2011 at 7:35am / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Love
Perdition's comment : You dumped a rockstar.
by maribel / 06/04/2011 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Clumsyblonde22 / 06/04/2011 at 7:22am / United States / Animals
Blueglasscup's comment : And your relatives came back to a dead aunt?
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML
by PizzaBoySwag / 06/04/2011 at 5:36am / United States (California) / Work
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
by zain / 06/04/2011 at 2:15am / United States (Texas) / Work