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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

#14029442
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42234) - you deserved it (5186)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -

Today, I refused to ride with a friend on a motorcycle because it is unsafe and went to take the bus. As I got off the bus, I got hit by a speeding motorcycle and ended up in hospital. FML

#14026959
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32620) - you deserved it (5522)

On 11/29/2010 at 7:25pm - health - by leilei (woman) - Philippines

Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML

#14024877
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32729) - you deserved it (3765)

On 11/29/2010 at 4:17pm - kids - by nybaby - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I are divorcing because HE had an affair. He now wants a paternity test. FML

#14024003
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35041) - you deserved it (3441)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:20pm - kids - by preggers - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

#14023923
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26842) - you deserved it (54609)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I went to see a psychiatrist for my depression and low self esteem. While in the waiting room, I overheard a guy telling his friend how ugly I am. FML

#14023842
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38708) - you deserved it (3744)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:58pm - health - by sadness - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I went to the grocery store where my husband works. I wanted to surprise him, so I went up behind him and started kissing his neck. He seemed to love it, and so did I, until I noticed it wasn't my husband. FML

#14023578
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12594) - you deserved it (45126)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:26pm - love - by vhtdgjj - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while I was out of the house, my 6 year old brother stole my new waterproof camera, dunked it into the toilet holding onto the wrist strap, and flushed repeatedly to see if it lived up to its "waterproof promise." It didn't. FML

#14023437
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28816) - you deserved it (3585)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:02pm - misc - by fmylife. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was speeding a little on the highway. I thought I saw a police car, so I slammed on my brakes, causing the person behind me to rear end me. The "police car" I saw was just a broken down car on the side of the road. FML

#14023247
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6416) - you deserved it (47223)

On 11/29/2010 at 12:34pm - misc - by fuckina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents went to the Cayman Islands, leaving me at home in freezing Iowa. Also, even though I never get into trouble, they don't trust me enough to be home on my own. So they hired a babysitter to stay with me until they get back. I'm 17. FML

#14022751
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33462) - you deserved it (4084)

On 11/29/2010 at 11:05am - misc - by wtf (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me by finding orange panties in my closet. His excuse was "they're a Christmas gift." Thanks honey, I get panties that won't fit, and have little brown streaks. FML

#14022422
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39008) - you deserved it (3047)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, a woman laughed after hearing my voice for the first time. This happens whenever I meet someone new, without fail. FML

#14022149
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32241) - you deserved it (3113)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:22am - misc - by Username -

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

#14022064
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30164) - you deserved it (3721)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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