Today, I told my friend I was considering adopting a dog. She looked at me like I was Satan and went on a rant about how dogs are "born evil" and will always maul someone given the chance. I still have the marks from when one of her psycho cats sliced open my arm last month. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Countersuit
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Good boy
Today, after a serious argument with my friend about how his dog seems to hate me for no reason, I decided that it's my responsibility to show his dog that I mean no harm. I started off by giving him his favorite treat. He got excited and practically inhaled it… then started barking at me again. FML
Dog people
Today, a crazed woman started screaming at me at the dog park. She was saying that I was cruel and unfit to be a pet owner, and she ought to kick my ass. My dog's ears and tail were cropped before I even got him. He’s a rescue and came to me like this. She wouldn’t listen and followed me to my car. FML
Great friends
Today, my "friends" showed me a video of them pranking my arachnophobic coworker with a fake toy spider. She cried. I told them very bluntly that they're horrible people and owe her an apology. They responded by getting their mean ass dog to antagonize me. I'm afraid of dogs. FML
Cujo
Today, I have cynophobia. My dog-loving friend refuses to acknowledge that it's real. Her dogs are vicious and mean, and she believes it is cruel to muzzle them. Not to mention they're almost the size of me, and I'm 6'2 and 220lbs. This is literally why I have cynophobia in the first place. FML
Every dog has its day
Today, I had to very seriously and very slowly explain to my friend why having a bat mitzvah for her dog was a very ignorant and insulting idea. FML
Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999
Today, I found out why my mother has treated me like dogshit since the day I was born. I was apparently born during a solar eclipse, which in her twisted mind meant I was born evil, with a black soul. I train dogs for blind people, yet she insists I must have a sinister motive even for that. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
Social parasites
Today, I was walking my friend’s dog at the park as a favor. A stranger then struck up a little conversation with me about the dog. It turned out that the stranger I talked to was my friend’s landlord, who now knows that my friend was lying about her pet being a service animal and is threatening eviction. FML
Today, I found out my mom recently stopped taking her medication. I came home to find she'd shot my dog because she thought he was possessed by the devil. FML
Top comments
igive 29
If treated right, dogs are the most loyal and loving creatures, don't listen to her.
MrConfusion 21
The only bad dogs are the ones raised bad. I love dogs and currently own two. Don't listen to her OP, and if you want to adopt a dog, I highly suggest it. Happy adopting :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (88)
angelnursery 18
All pets are able to be awful, but personally dogs are adorable teddy bears to me.
smokecloud_ 37
All pets CAN be wonderful. I love my dog and two cats but I've had various scratches from my cats and a fractured foot from my 90 pound dog jumping on me too many times. They're still the light of my life.
Kiernan151 25
My dog was a very troubled puppy (English mastiff, so they're often bad puppies) however as a dog she is the gentlest dog I've ever met. At 200 pounds she doesn't bark unless we are playing with her toys with her, and even when we get deer in our yard (like the other dogs) she doesn't bark. Now she is only a year old and still a puppy so she doesn't know her own size and has made people fall, but she is super sweet compared to my cats. My brothers had 3 cats growing up, I've been scratched/bit by them all. dogs>cats
rocker_chick105 31
I'll be an advocate for cats. We adopted my cat and I wouldn't have chosen anything over him. He cuddles, plays, and can even fetch better than our dogs. I raised him well and he is a good cat. Just like with dogs, it depends on how they are raised. Teaching a cat not to scratch someone is like teaching a puppy that biting someone isn't okay. My cat has only scratched me when we were playing. Personally, I've had a much better relationship with my cat than my parents' dogs, who are spoiled and were not taught very well.
Kiernan151 25
The cats were taught not to scratch #44, and it was only me they did it to. After talking to a vet they figured it was because since the cats had been around before me, and I was only a toddler they was jealous of all the attention I was getting. So even though they had been taught not to scratch they still did it.
rocker_chick105 31
54- the entire last part of your comment confused me. Anyway, cats are animals. Like dogs. You can teach a dog not to bite but they still may. Does that mean all dogs the terrible? Of course not. Dogs are great. Same thing with cats. I've been scratched by a neighbor's cat before. I don't think all cats are terrible.
baka4815 21
I had a mastiff for 8 years. They never learn their size and continue to think they are chihuahuas.
igive 29
If treated right, dogs are the most loyal and loving creatures, don't listen to her.
abbas07 20
true bit unfortunately being a muslim i cannot keep dogs in my apartment bit dogs are the most loyal no doubt
friedpwnadge 25
Only a sith deals in absolutes. Her power to tame fierce creatures is only proof of this. She is dangerous.
barlos88 19
Remind her that animals take on the traits of their owners, if your awesome then any animal you adopt will be, if you suck then so will your animal
dogearmy 4
you're *
lchollett 22
You have two options. Either get the dog and show her how sweet they can be, or still get the dog and use it as an excuse to keep crazy cat lady away from you when you don't want her around. Either way, don't let it discourage you, OP. Dogs are man's best friend for a reason.
MrConfusion 21
The only bad dogs are the ones raised bad. I love dogs and currently own two. Don't listen to her OP, and if you want to adopt a dog, I highly suggest it. Happy adopting :)
TeeGee_McGee 4
Very true, there is no such thing as a bad dog, only bad owners.
taterrtots 25
pffffft, born evil? dogs have the purest souls of all. I enjoy cats but cat people are insane. definitely don't listen to her, adding a dog to your life will bring you much happiness.
Catdragon 40
my dog purposely took a shit right between my legs while I was sleeping because I scolded her the day before when I stepped in her poop. I rolled right in it. dogs can be assholes too.
smokecloud_ 37
All pets can be assholes. But I will say, my cats are bigger assholes than my dog. And I've had the cats longer.
taterrtots 25
haha #23 that's a smart dog you have there. my dog could be dickish too when she felt like it but I think it's a small price to pay for the unconditional love dogs give you. much more than cats anyway.
Kiernan151 25
I'm going to guess 23, that your dog is still a puppy? It doesn't excuse the behaviour but my dog did something like that to me when she was a puppy but she stopped after a while, and she was inbred, so it'll probably work out for you
Warmonger_Smurf 29
The ancient Egyptians built great things. Then they started to worship cats. It didn't go well for them after that.
HowlingFire 21
There are no bad dogs, only bad owners. I hope you pointed out how her cat scratched you. Get the dog and show her how sweet and goofy they are!
ko051598 20
I hate when people say "dogs are mean" or "cats are mean" , it just depends on the animal and how its treated