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Today, I finally found out why the water in my bottle had been tasting strangely minty for the past few weeks when I saw a piece of gum sitting at the bottom of it. I don't chew gum. FML

By RobotUnicorn1209 - / Tuesday 21 November 2017 19:30 / Canada - Hamilton
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By BarefootNoMore - / Friday 17 November 2017 00:00 / Canada - Ajax
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Today, my horse and I got into a disagreement over the jumps. I thought "we" should be going over them. He thought "I" should be going over them instead. FML

By AkaiKitsune - / Wednesday 15 November 2017 16:30 / Canada - Victoria
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By CathRoy - / Friday 3 November 2017 19:30 / Canada - Sherbrooke
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By Why Dad? - / Saturday 21 October 2017 00:00 / Canada - Ajax
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Today, during a romantic shower with my girlfriend, I slipped, fell, and took the both the shower curtain and rod with me. My dignity hurts more than my butt. FML

By "Alex Neiva" - / Monday 16 October 2017 19:30 / Canada - Toronto
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Today, a guy tried a pick-up line on me and followed me into a nearby mall. He left me after 10 minutes, but later sent me a request on Instagram. I never gave him my name. FML

By wilmaa - / Sunday 15 October 2017 17:15 / Canada
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  Today, I engaged in a healthy round of rebound sex to get over my ex, who was very controlling of my body. During the act, Mr. Rebound said my nipples looked like pepperoni. FML

By Insecure - / Wednesday 11 October 2017 01:00 / Canada - Halifax
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By Gotta Catch Them All - / Sunday 8 October 2017 07:00 / Canada
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Today, I learned I have a slight allergy to wasps when I cut down a dead tree they made a home out of. Half my face now looks like I'm wearing a fat suit. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 3 October 2017 14:02 / Canada - Jansen
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By StinkyFrogHunter - / Wednesday 10 May 2017 15:00 / Canada - Toronto
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By Toothach - / Thursday 12 May 2016 01:38 / Canada - Fonthill
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By hannahka - / Friday 29 August 2014 18:09 / Canada - Ottawa
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By nomade319 - / Thursday 16 May 2013 02:57 / Canada - Winnipeg
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Today, while arguing with my pregnant wife, she said, “You can’t understand. I’m creating life. What are you creating, besides poop?” FML

By caca maker - / Sunday 13 January 2013 09:22 / Canada
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