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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was complimented on my improved performance over the last 3 months. My boss said he doesn't know what I've done to improve, but to keep it up. I'd only started looking for another job, and stopped giving a shit. FML

#21431603
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24507) - you deserved it (1960)

On 06/25/2015 at 3:06am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had to call patients that we hadn't seen in a long time. Most of them were dead. FML

#21431312
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23330) - you deserved it (1793)

On 06/24/2015 at 6:18pm - work - by Exil (woman) - United States

Today, I politely asked a coworker to stop sticking his chewed-up gum to my desk. It's now 10:57 pm and my tires are slashed. FML

#21431204
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24366) - you deserved it (1529)

On 06/24/2015 at 2:49pm - work - by Ain't going nowhere - United States (Illinois)

Today, we had customer complaints of a child molester hanging around our restaurant. After confrontation by a manager, he wouldn't leave. I had to be walked to my car after my shift by more than one person because I look 12 and they were afraid for me. I'm almost 19. FML

#21430929
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25631) - you deserved it (1976)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:23pm - work - by ilook12 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after all of the business cards for the car dealership that I work for were printed, the phone number was wrong, and the lady got so pissed about getting so many calls that she told them that they had won a free car. I had to tell dozens of ecstatic customers that they hadn't. FML

#21430788
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22392) - you deserved it (5475)

On 06/23/2015 at 6:37pm - work - by Luke - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss confided in me that when a gay person visits his house, he discreetly follows them around and cleans anything they touched and everywhere they sat with disinfectant wipes. I've worked for him for 7 years but he doesn't know I'm gay. FML

#21430685
114 comments

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

#21430016
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29948) - you deserved it (3831)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:35am - work - by Iamsosorry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I forbade a student in the writing seminar I instructed from continuing to present his disturbing poems about demons. He responded to this by convincing nearly every other student in the seminar to write and read out loud several of his poems. FML

#21429629
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19455) - you deserved it (7511)

On 06/21/2015 at 4:42pm - work - by ihateloopholes (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I went to the restaurant I recently got a job at, to take the introductory three hour training course. Afterwards, I was told I wasn't hired after all. Why? The girl I was replacing suddenly decided she didn't want to move away and quit after all. FML

Today, I'm five and a half weeks pregnant. One of my coworkers told me that it sucks that I'll have to wait so long to show. I asked her what she meant; she replied, "It's always harder to tell when big girls are pregnant. Can't tell what's fat and what's baby." FML

#21428256
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28907) - you deserved it (4563)

On 06/18/2015 at 8:58pm - work - by pregnantfatty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30409) - you deserved it (4047)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister started a full-time job with a good pay despite having no prior work experience and being a college freshman. Meanwhile, I've graduated with two degrees, have been working two jobs for the last five years, and still can't get a full-time position anywhere. FML

#21427853
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28718) - you deserved it (2987)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:50pm - work - by Realworldred (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I started working my new summer job at McDonald's. Only 2 hours into my first shift, my tooth falls out onto a young girl's tray of food. Not only did she see it, but my managers and other people waiting in line all saw it. I don't think I have a summer job anymore. FML



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