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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML

#21411568
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25082) - you deserved it (1799)

On 05/17/2015 at 5:27pm - work - by lily_marleen (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML

#21411436
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22903) - you deserved it (10260)

On 05/17/2015 at 12:13pm - work - by smellynelly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after getting my dream job and quitting old one, I was told my position is strictly "experimental" and will only last 2 months. FML

#21411308
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29514) - you deserved it (3142)

On 05/17/2015 at 2:31am - work - by fuckkkkk - United States (California)

Today, at work, I was about to close a big sale, when a coworker rushed over and said there was a call for me in the office. He heavily implied my mom had died, and I rushed out. After I figured out there was no call and that my mom was fine, he'd already stolen my sale and the commission. FML

#21410601
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35471) - you deserved it (2014)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32621) - you deserved it (7089)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, I got a friend request on Facebook. It's from the person who crashed into my car earlier in the month. It's funny that she doesn't return my calls or messages, but liked my status about the accident. FML

#21409756
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27451) - you deserved it (1816)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:55pm - work - by iamgodzilla (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, whilst visiting an unfamiliar office site for work, I was conversing with my boss about the possibility of considering myself for a managing position in the future. I then unintentionally followed him to the bathroom whilst walking and texting. FML

Today, a while after finishing and uploading a task, I looked at my peers' work to make sure I hadn't missed anything in mine. One of them had gotten the same idea and had decided to incorporate part of my work into his. "Part" as in "all". "All" as in all of his work is also all of mine. FML

#21409245
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25568) - you deserved it (2115)

On 05/12/2015 at 11:19pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after a big presentation, people sent an open invitation to dinner. When I asked which restaurant and what time, I was told that I wasn't invited. I've been here for three years. FML

#21409208
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25570) - you deserved it (2007)

On 05/12/2015 at 10:11pm - work - by spitt (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML

#21408482
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25916) - you deserved it (1974)

On 05/11/2015 at 4:54pm - work - by Becky (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my college charged me for tuition for next semester. I graduated 2 years ago. I have a degree from a place too stupid to only charge current students. FML

#21407028
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27332) - you deserved it (1964)

On 05/08/2015 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

#21406740
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24649) - you deserved it (7104)

On 05/08/2015 at 11:44am - work - by pop, pop (man) - United States (California)



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