Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, at college, I was frantically trying to finish an essay on gay rights that was due less than an hour later. In the end I failed, because the college internet filters kept classifying every single page containing the information I needed as "sex", and blocked it all. FML

#21166210
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37411) - you deserved it (13289)

On 06/07/2014 at 3:16pm - work - by fstfckd (man) - United States

Today, I was disciplined by my boss for "not smiling enough." I'm a dishwasher. FML

#21165697
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40536) - you deserved it (4426)

On 06/07/2014 at 1:15am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42215) - you deserved it (6159)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, a customer at work said his table was dirty. I asked which one he was sitting at so I could clean it for him. For some bizarre reason he got pissed and called my manager over. He ended up reporting us to corporate, and my manager got written up. He's blaming me for everything. FML

#21163809
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40955) - you deserved it (3229)

On 06/05/2014 at 11:16am - work - by DarkSerebii (woman) - United States

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41173) - you deserved it (4314)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a coworker asked me why this week's report was not uploaded to the server. I've been writing these reports once a week for a year and they take a whole day to write. Upload them to what server? FML

#21162641
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37313) - you deserved it (5685)

On 06/04/2014 at 9:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the fitting rooms at work, a 10-year-old kid threw a coat-hanger directly at my face. The kid's father didn't apologise on his behalf, but instead congratulated him on what he called "a wicked shot". FML

#21162381
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43317) - you deserved it (3945)

On 06/04/2014 at 1:07am - work - by anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, a customer told me, "Girls your size can't bend at the waist." I couldn't stop laughing at the imagery long enough to be really offended. FML

#21161933
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34349) - you deserved it (5044)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by jennythezebra (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML

#21161846
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42202) - you deserved it (3617)

On 06/03/2014 at 4:44pm - work - by maleficunt (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, I walked a student to an office on the other side of the school. I'm the kind of person who would rather make conversation than endure awkward silence, so I tried to talk to him. He just stared intently at my chest the whole time. FML

Today, I told someone about my degree in technical theatre with a concentration in lighting design. They looked at me and said, "You're paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?" And technically, that's correct. FML

#21159630
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42672) - you deserved it (11179)

On 06/01/2014 at 6:15pm - work - by ugh - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

#21159616
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48219) - you deserved it (5096)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by anikah (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got written up for asking my coworker a question that I should have asked my boss to ask my coworker. Yay bureaucracy. FML

#21159568
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39021) - you deserved it (3702)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:03pm - work - by not paid enough (man) - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: