Today, after working my ass off for 2 months, receiving perfect reviews, and going out of my way to take on extra work to get a job offer from the location where I temp, I finally got an offer for a permanent position. Included in the offer was a $3.00 an hour pay cut and no insurance. FML

by temp / 10/20/2016 at 8:36pm / Work

Today, my office smells like a giant turnip green fart because of a sewage leak. FML

Today, as usual, I got to my internship early, did everything my bosses asked. At the end of the day, I was fired after 3 weeks of working unpaid overtime because they found an applicant with more experience for the job I applied to and they wanted to cut costs. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2016 at 1:59pm / Singapore / Work

Today, I had to call a customer. I usually try to avoid calling customers because I have a very prominent speech impediment. Well, it turns out the customer I called also has a speech impediment and thought I was mocking her. She hung up on me and filed a formal complaint with my company. FML

by Jen / 10/20/2016 at 12:32pm / Work

Today, at the register, I got a spontaneous nose bleed. The lady behind the counter apparently didn't do well with blood. Her face turned white, she passed out and fell with her head on the counter. FML

by Kay / 10/20/2016 at 6:37am / Work

Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML

by knifewow / 10/20/2016 at 4:30am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I got up early for a doctor's appointment and chugged two cups of coffee. Ten minutes before I was supposed to leave, my doctor calls asking to reschedule, which would have been fine had I not cleared my whole day for this appointment. Now I'm too wired to go back to bed. FML

by KitKat20 / 10/18/2016 at 9:05am / United States (North Dakota) / Work

Today, my class had a very important meeting about workplace safety. I thought I led some of my classmates to the meeting very well, until they informed me that I accidentally ran a red light on the way there. They brought this infraction up during the class every chance they got. FML

by greeter / 10/18/2016 at 2:49am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Work

Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification that my workload would be increased to more than twice what is was before. FML

by twicethepersonioncewas / 10/18/2016 at 1:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's been a death in the family, then abruptly hangs up. I speed home, to find my mother holding the tiny corpse of a fish that she got 2 weeks ago. I got fired for being late to work. FML

by JoeyTheJedi / 10/17/2016 at 8:31pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, the store I work at got shut down and I got let go. Three days ago I got a promotion and a raise. FML

by unemployed / 10/17/2016 at 8:05pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I got yelled at by a customer for refusing to give a found credit card to a woman it didn't belong to. FML

by I hate retail / 10/17/2016 at 6:12pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I found out how my salesmen are "entertaining" themselves since they were told they can't have their cell phones on them. They are pulling straws to see who will pretend to trip and fall face-first onto the floor in front of customers. FML

by bossproblems / 10/17/2016 at 2:47pm / United States (Florida) / Work