Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my English teacher used the word "interpretate" again. This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them. It's over a page long. I'm meant to be learning things from this woman. FML

#20582580
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27449) - you deserved it (2552)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:09pm - work - by Annoyed Student - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I got called an "evil Nazi bitch" because I let a customer know that this is the last day our store will have free plastic bags. FML

#20581805
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27796) - you deserved it (2061)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:18am - work - by steppppphhhhhh - United States (California)

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of my tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up, I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hour while I put my uniform through the dryer. FML

#20580594
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27163) - you deserved it (2577)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:56pm - work - by soakedga - United States (Georgia)

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

#20580464
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25992) - you deserved it (1967)

On 04/08/2013 at 10:08am - work - by save the koalas? uhh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

#20580301
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24956) - you deserved it (4229)

On 04/08/2013 at 4:30am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

#20578916
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30940) - you deserved it (4456)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I interviewed three elderly residents at a nursing home, hoping to use the transcript for a very important paper due next week. It went great, so I wrapped up and drove home. I sat down to start typing, and realized that my recording had stopped ten minutes in. FML

#20577861
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (3839)

On 04/06/2013 at 5:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML

#20577745
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37549) - you deserved it (2749)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

#20576074
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31446) - you deserved it (1686)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to work at a hotel. One of the guests decided to play the piano in the lobby. He's deaf. Unfortunately, I'm not. FML

#20575584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23742) - you deserved it (4478)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:20am - work - by torturedears (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a 15-minute presentation for a conference. I hadn't had the time to write out a proper speech so I decided to just wing it. My sponsor liked my presentation so much he wants me to turn it into an article. Now if only I could remember what I said. FML

#20575166
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29144) - you deserved it (8311)

On 04/04/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by BrillianceSucks (woman) - Canada

Today, my coworker learned that I'm an Israeli Jew. He told me, in the same sentence, that Jews should "get the fuck out of Israel" and also "get out of Australia and back to your own country." Um, what? FML

#20572737
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28991) - you deserved it (5295)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:53am - work - by JewSoSilly (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML

#20572312
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29517) - you deserved it (2271)

On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: