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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42117) - you deserved it (8027)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

#20653784
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44760) - you deserved it (2646)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member and everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML

#20653580
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38377) - you deserved it (7590)

On 05/10/2013 at 12:44am - work - by legit247 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was laid off from my job as a manager. After cleaning out my office, I began clearing my computer. I received an email from HR announcing a job position that opened up. Too bad it was for my job. FML

#20651556
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38079) - you deserved it (3014)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boss asked me to read through a document. I gave my feedback, saying it seemed like it had been written by an 8-year-old. Turns out it was in fact written by him. FML

#20649842
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36960) - you deserved it (13139)

On 05/08/2013 at 12:59pm - work - by anon_1996 - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

#20646182
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37869) - you deserved it (2905)

On 05/06/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by sobasics - United States

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

#20645244
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48497) - you deserved it (3655)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:25am - work - by perfecttiming (man) - United States (California)

Today, as a condominium security guard, I had to enter an old lady's apartment to supervise the mandatory maintenance taking place inside. I commented on the lakeside view from her window and mentioned, "This is a pretty nice view up here isn't it?" It turns out that she's blind. FML

#20642213
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44890) - you deserved it (6155)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:28am - work - by rent-a-cop (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46072) - you deserved it (3704)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML

#20640271
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21363) - you deserved it (28006)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:17am - work - by charishard - United States (Texas)

Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML

#20639773
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42443) - you deserved it (3577)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm - work - by annoyedgirl - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML

#20638777
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59273) - you deserved it (6721)

On 05/03/2013 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML

#20638400
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40567) - you deserved it (2727)

On 05/03/2013 at 1:35am - work - by clutzasaurus (man) - United States (Texas)



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Monday 17 June 2013

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