Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML

#53082
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9930) - you deserved it (69142)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML

#9285
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35509) - you deserved it (9200)

On 02/05/2009 at 6:41am - work - by fml (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year old boy. 3 times. FML

#7471
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28207) - you deserved it (4652)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:56am - work - by cplaner (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML

#6752
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28734) - you deserved it (27792)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:55pm - work - by kprice6 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boss caught me playing games on the computer for 4 hours. My boss told me to feel free and continue, but to pack my stuff up and leave when I was done. FML

#5890
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5250) - you deserved it (57859)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:46am - work - by poisonhand (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I released a noxious, unforgiving fart in my cubicle not thinking anything of it. You know, one of those sulfurous clouds you get the morning after a few good beers. Moments later, my manager walks in to talk about work. It's 7:30 in the morning, no one else is around. FML

#5873
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8057) - you deserved it (20130)

On 02/03/2009 at 1:42am - work - by BillLumberg (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I am going to an event where I will be meeting quite a few people who will be excellent contacts in my future career. Since I wanted to make a good impression, I did the whole makeup and grooming thing before setting out, I accidentally removed about half my left eyebrow. FML

#5776
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18625) - you deserved it (7042)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:10pm - work - by wiseoldone - United States (New York)

Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML

#5588
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44861) - you deserved it (2671)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:00pm - work - by Rachel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came into work with a new hair cut and so far everyone has asked me If I lost a bet. FML

#5127
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25584) - you deserved it (3003)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:39am - work - by Xpresss - United States (California)

Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML

#4954
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18910) - you deserved it (3397)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:11pm - work - by fonsui - United States (New York)

Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML

#4601
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29310) - you deserved it (3067)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:41am - work - by sportskidguru - United States (Missouri)

Today, I am sick with a cold and I go to the most important interview of my life. A giant glob of wet snot comes out of my nose when I am expressing my desire to join their team. FML

#4150
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22805) - you deserved it (1770)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:20pm - work - by Larry - United States (California)

Today, I was offered a job. It only took me a year and 17 interviews to get an offer, and I have a PhD. FML

#3922
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26719) - you deserved it (2817)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:37am - work - by RogerReady - United States (West Virginia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: