Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was training for my new job at a restaurant. As part of training, they give you free food so you know what to reccommend, and the dish I got was really good. Eight hours later I saw it again while I was puking; I got food poisoning from my own place of work. FML

#914179
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47876) - you deserved it (2948)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12pm - work - by newhostess (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was sent to an elementary school for safety day. One of the dads was asking about my job, when I told him about the long hours and high stress involved. He turned to his son and said "Now see why you stay in school?" I'm a paramedic. With a bachelor's degree. FML

#899104
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52163) - you deserved it (2689)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:07am - work - by Franco (man) - United States

Today, I went for a lunch interview for my dream job. The interview was great and at the end, I tried to seal the deal by complimenting my future boss. I said, "You're really hardworking. Do you always work on a Saturday?" He looked at me, smiled and then wrote something down. Today's Friday. FML

#897398
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13091) - you deserved it (54510)

On 04/10/2009 at 3:06am - work - by sifa (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, one of the Haitians that works in the kitchen at my restaurant said something to me. Usually I can't understand them and I just smile and laugh, so that's what I did this time. Later, I found out he was trying to tell me his father had passed away. FML

#891545
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16762) - you deserved it (52353)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:13pm - work - by ohhhman (woman) - United States

Today, I was the first one to wear the ugly corporate shirts we received. The people in my office-all of them guys were all saying that it looked a lot better than they thought it would. Later that day I went to the toilet and saw the shirt gapes open in front and you could see my boobs. FML

#882565
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41873) - you deserved it (16406)

On 04/09/2009 at 4:44am - work - by Uglyshirts (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38606) - you deserved it (129665)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got all my co-workers motivated. We were all going to quit and walk out the door. I went first. I gave an emotional speech to my boss and threw my uniform to the ground. Then I turned around to to see the rest follow, they all began laughing. They didn't. They WANTED me to quit. FML

#877150
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49221) - you deserved it (32607)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:34pm - work - by ineedanewjob (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

#869023
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16074) - you deserved it (90350)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:48am - work - by StevieMe (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

#867771
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67313) - you deserved it (4732)

On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boss informed me that it is now my responsibility to wash the dishes, since my co-workers are consistently too lazy to clean up after themselves. I have a bachelor's degree. Which I earned at the same university I now work at. FML

#866352
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48628) - you deserved it (5494)

On 04/08/2009 at 2:08am - work - by aeterne (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92035) - you deserved it (27461)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10, who I've seen there before) came in to order food for his Dad. He orders very excitedly, and I told him he'd be a great worker here when he gets older. He said "oh no, my Dad says I'm too smart to work in a place like this." FML

#850361
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55776) - you deserved it (12507)

On 04/07/2009 at 8:50am - work - by GT716 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter ran up to a librarian working in the kids section and screamed "MOMMY!" and hugged her. She looked at her and said "I'm not your mommy." My daughters reply: "I know. But you're better than mommy" FML

#849178
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72859) - you deserved it (7250)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:32am - work - by Windstar (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: