Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2011 at 12:38am / Work

Today, my boss contacted me to come in for a quick meeting. I drove 30 minutes to get to work only to find out she was firing me and wanted my key card back. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2011 at 11:19pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML

by rogerusmc23 / 05/23/2011 at 10:41pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Work

Today, I got fired from my job at a small start-up company. Why? The CEO wanted to give a job to one of his former fraternity brothers who is out of work, and they couldn't afford to keep us both. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2011 at 2:12pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I opened my new clothing store. My only customer was my mom and the only reason she came in was to tell me that someone stole my sign. FML

by 11lyss1 / 05/23/2011 at 12:26am / Work

Today, I spent an hour setting up a delicate display stand at work. Not five minutes later, a woman barged in with her little kid, who immediately went up to the display and tipped the whole thing over. When I called attention to the mother, she just scoffed, "Isn't this your job?" and left. FML

by NoRespect / 05/22/2011 at 3:50pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she'd gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML

by ewwgross / 05/20/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, while working at a restaurant, an elderly lady stuck my tip in my back pocket as I was walking away. I wish I knew this before I'd thrown her to the floor for touching my hiney. FML

by rioght onnn / 05/20/2011 at 3:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my boss scheduled a staff breakfast at a swanky new restaurant for all the hard work we've been doing. The dining area is on the roof, and the building has no elevator. I've been in a wheelchair for 11 years. When I brought this to my boss's attention, he said it wasn't his problem. FML

by jayc80 / 05/20/2011 at 1:59pm / Bermuda (Hamilton) / Work

Today, I tore up my airborne academy admission documents because my lab results weren't good enough. A few hours later, they called me to apologize for the misunderstanding, mine turned out to be perfect and they'd accepted me. They need me tomorrow with all the documents to finalize the admission. FML

by SkyDiver / 05/20/2011 at 3:46am / Work

Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML

by Username / 05/19/2011 at 11:13am / Work

Today, after searching for a job for over a year now, I finally got an interview. The pressure made me so nervous that I passed out in the middle of it. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2011 at 1:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, it was my first day as an animal control officer. My first dispatch was to collect a dog that had been hit by a car. I had to clean up my dead dog on my first day of a job that barely pays rent. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2011 at 10:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Work