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Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

#180985
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91029) - you deserved it (4688)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:10am - work - by oh_mylanta (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, i walked into starbucks for a job application. I asked the manager if they were hiring, I really need a job. He looked me up and down and replied, " NO". There was a 'now hiring' sign in the window. FML

#176677
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41314) - you deserved it (4290)

On 03/01/2009 at 10:03pm - work - by timmyb (man) - United States (California)

Today, a customer opened with "you open bottles with them thangs?" I look around my desk for something he might confuse with an actual bottle opener. His girlfriend then informs me he is talking about my breasts. I work for a bank. FML

#176117
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41488) - you deserved it (3461)

On 03/01/2009 at 9:31pm - work - by bottlepoppin (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after working for my company for 10 years, my co-workers threw me a farewell party. The boss gave quite an eloquent speech, ending in "we're really gonna miss you Mark." My name is Evan. FML

#163929
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62254) - you deserved it (2797)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:50pm - work - by Grrrrr (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML

#158702
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46988) - you deserved it (8377)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:30am - work - by eggs (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss said he was giving me a significant raise. After he requested the payroll department to raise my salary they informed him he needed to fill out a one-sheet form. He took my raise away because he didn't want to fill out that sheet. FML

#154769
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63052) - you deserved it (2249)

On 02/27/2009 at 6:05pm - work - by anabolic (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a performance evaluation meeting with my boss. He told me I was the best in my department, and that the productivity has never been higher before I started working here. Oh, and he said that because everything is working so well, they don't need me as much, so he's cutting my hours. FML

#142534
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53252) - you deserved it (2337)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:05pm - work - by lolgarbl (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
954 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73048) - you deserved it (422859)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here" He saw her. It's his daughter. She's a new-hire... running HR. FML

#141211
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12196) - you deserved it (45740)

On 02/26/2009 at 3:07am - work - by bluecollar (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told my boss I was bored of being a cashier and would rather go to food prep. He told me I couldn't because my arms were too hairy. I'm a sixteen year old girl. FML

#133390
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44817) - you deserved it (5507)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:15pm - work - by hairy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

#133145
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14231) - you deserved it (66331)

On 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm - work - by foolishgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML

#131042
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53202) - you deserved it (9050)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:25am - work - by yawho (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)



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