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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML

#1708480
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53827) - you deserved it (2645)

On 05/07/2009 at 12:53am - work - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

#1682300
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60995) - you deserved it (2883)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:52am - work - by Jay (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, 5 hours into my shift in a cafe I realized there were two stickers on my back that read: "Don't touch my no-no square" and "I wear diapers." I make food with my back to customers all day and I walk through the seating area delivering food. No one said anything. FML

#1653487
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45873) - you deserved it (3368)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:11am - work - by kekumbas (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to modify my resume since I've handed out over 30 of them in the past couple of weeks and I haven't gotten any calls back. As soon as I opened it on word document, I noticed that I had forgotten to include my phone number for employers to contact me. FML

#1630786
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12295) - you deserved it (69080)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:15pm - work - by Loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went into work to set up a new store. There was a lot of lifting so I dressed casual. This happened to be the day the owner brought in his conservative family to check out the store. I was wearing a shirt that says "everyone poops" and has a donkey and elephant pooping. FML

#1616689
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13859) - you deserved it (54938)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:40am - work - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (182456) - you deserved it (46913)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, the prizes were given to the employee of the month. They come in to surprise the winner and give prizes. They come over to my cubicle and cover me with silly string. Jokingly, I said: "Do you guys have the wrong cubicle? " They did. The guy in the next cubicle won. FML

#1497553
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49612) - you deserved it (6063)

On 04/30/2009 at 5:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

#1487277
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52098) - you deserved it (10270)

On 04/30/2009 at 10:55am - work - by RckRagman (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work I grabbed some customer keys off the board. I was checking out their cool flashlight keychain. At the exact moment I realized it wasn't a keychain, I pepper sprayed myself directly in the right eye. FML

Today, after two months of unemployment, I got a call from a marketing firm offering me an interview for an entry-level position. While Googling the company, I discovered it's a scam. I graduated college in 3 years with a 3.5 GPA, and the only interview I can get is at a fake company. FML

#1394893
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49984) - you deserved it (4535)

On 04/27/2009 at 3:46pm - work - by Journo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

#1382386
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38041) - you deserved it (8717)

On 04/27/2009 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, one of the guests I was in the middle of seating knocked an empty wine glass from the table. I assured them it was all right and kneeled down to pick up the now broken glass. The lady insisted on helping as far as picking the glass up and dumping the shards into my open hands. FML

#1342921
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45145) - you deserved it (3420)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:35am - work - by shadowednavi (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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