Today, my boss sent me home from work because she saw me not checking under my customer's cart to see if they had any hidden groceries. I didn't check because the customer threatened to "kick my ass" if I "accused him of stealing" by checking. FML

by bad_luck / 12/31/2010 at 10:51am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea for me to talk with a British accent during my job interview to make me sound smarter. I'm applying for a job at McDonald's. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 10:37am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I was delivering pizza in the rain. A woman answered the door, saw me soaking wet and said, "Wow this rain is terrible, it must be horrible to be out delivering in it." She then tipped me 21 cents. FML

by ronniewciv / 12/30/2010 at 2:48am / Work

Today, I swapped a shift so I didn't have to work on new year's eve. An hour later I realized I didn't have anyone to spend it with. I swapped it back. I'll be ringing in the new year with my boss. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2010 at 5:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, after shoveling one guy's steps, sidewalk, and driveway for two hours straight, I went to ask for my money. He said, "Work is its own reward!" and shut the door in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 1:37pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I got fired from my job. My manager found Facebook pictures of me drinking underage at a party. He said he didn't want "that kind of image" associated with the business. It was his birthday party. He supplied the booze. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2010 at 5:04am / United States / Work

Today, I saw my first boobs ever, at 18, volunteering at a retirement home. FML

by David H. / 12/23/2010 at 3:18am / Work

Today, after finally getting a job offer after months of unemployment, I found out that the person who was going to hire me got fired. Which means I'm not getting the job. FML

by tjm / 12/23/2010 at 1:05am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, one of my usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job. I declined, but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it. I have been violently ill for the past 2 hours. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2010 at 12:43am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

by morenita27 / 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm / Canada / Work

Today, after an argument with a coworker, I sent him "Sorry about being such a jerk" in a reply to a mass email he had sent. I accidentally hit 'Reply All'. I now have 32 "It's okay" messages in my inbox. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 5:26pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML

by Chloe / 12/20/2010 at 1:08pm / United Kingdom (London) / Work