Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says "I've been a dirty dirty girl" in a seductive tone, I thought she meant about the table so I said "yes you have" then she winked at me, I walked away fast. FML

#2824083
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45917) - you deserved it (8875)

On 06/12/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

#2821458
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69576) - you deserved it (3741)

On 06/12/2009 at 1:33am - work - by Shoes (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns $10,000 more than me. FML

#2798980
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59838) - you deserved it (3105)

On 06/11/2009 at 11:21am - work - by girlfriday (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78822) - you deserved it (22098)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received an email from a temp agency trying to hire me. Suprisingly, it was the same job I was just laid off from after two years of great employment. They were trying to hire me at half my original salary. FML

#2792784
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49564) - you deserved it (2259)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:21am - work - by surfernerd6987 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML

#2774700
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12675) - you deserved it (67959)

On 06/10/2009 at 3:42pm - work - by crosseyed (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I busted my ass to help this old lady move her stuff because she was going to a nursing home. I was told I would get paid. When I finished four hours later the lady took me to a room and told me to pick out anything in her little goody bag. I got a race car as payment. FML

#2766394
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48364) - you deserved it (8707)

On 06/10/2009 at 7:03am - work - by person (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms. They give away free condoms to employees at the office. I haven't gotten laid since I began working here. FML

#2745458
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41016) - you deserved it (6392)

On 06/09/2009 at 3:39pm - work - by IronMonkey (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my temp agency sent me out for an interview for a great job. The interviewer and I hit it off. She asked if I could start later today. She said she'd call after making up a contract. She didn't call. My temp agency called to tell me the interviewer was fired right after my interview. FML

Today, I was playing piano for a wedding rehearsal. Bored, I decided to pass the time playing through a book of music I found in the piano bench. Some time later the bride turns to me and screams at me to stop. I had turned the page and had begun to play "Let's call the whole thing off." FML

#2730448
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10331) - you deserved it (46090)

On 06/08/2009 at 8:14pm - work - by Chipper (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML

#2720820
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48311) - you deserved it (4179)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Marie (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I came home and found my desk devoid of all paper. Turned out my mom dropped by and wanted to surprise me by cleaning up my work area. She threw away over 7 months worth of irreplaceable original sketches, notes and storylines, thinking they were worthless. My job is a full-time artist. FML

#2701716
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63365) - you deserved it (3266)

On 06/07/2009 at 8:17pm - work - by Kilika (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

#2654949
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68150) - you deserved it (7646)

On 06/06/2009 at 7:18am - work - by foretwintie (man) - Canada (Quebec)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: