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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, the company offering the job position that I've been applying for called me up. I wasn't there to answer so they got redirected to my voice mail in which I'm acting like a drunk David Hasselhoff chewing on a cheeseburger. They called me 5 times. FML

#6426419
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5127) - you deserved it (37507)

On 11/23/2009 at 8:47pm - work - by Mr IT - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I finally received a paycheck for the first time in six months. I celebrated by promptly falling down a flight of stairs and losing consciousness. FML

#6422914
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23982) - you deserved it (4565)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:12pm - work - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss called me into her office to tell me I needed to mind my own business and not question everything my newest co-worker does. Yesterday, I stopped the new girl from giving $6,000 to the wrong person. I was fired on the spot. The new girl was promoted into my job. FML

#6400678
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38742) - you deserved it (2643)

On 11/22/2009 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

#6386957
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28628) - you deserved it (2315)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:03am - work - by beckbm23 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was supposed to be payday. Instead, it was the day I found out that, for two weeks, I have been volunteering for Habitat for Humanity, and am not actually employed by a construction company. FML

#6386124
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9920) - you deserved it (38057)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:59pm - work - by Masonlee89 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML

#6378315
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8957) - you deserved it (34830)

On 11/20/2009 at 8:56am - work - by HellaBomber91 (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, at work, my boss said something that I didn't catch. I went to take a leash off a dog, (I'm a groomer's assistant) and looked at my boss and said "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML

#6377475
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17392) - you deserved it (4954)

On 11/20/2009 at 3:29am - work - by DamnDogs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got an interview at a restaurant after looking for a job for three months. I dressed nice, and the interview was going well until this blonde girl in booty shorts and fishnets walked in. The manager hired her on the spot. FML

#6374426
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24242) - you deserved it (1924)

On 11/19/2009 at 8:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boss a simple question about a problem I was having with a project I am currently doing. He replied: ''You don't worry your sweet little ass about it babe". My boss is my girlfriend's father. Nice. FML

#6353474
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28388) - you deserved it (2896)

On 11/18/2009 at 11:45am - work - by GiWi (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, at the old folk's home where I work as a housekeeper, a resident was holding herself on the way to the bathroom. I hoped she wouldn't leave a mess. She made it just fine. I was then informed that she had left a crap trail from the couch, more than 20ft away. FML

#6351075
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24735) - you deserved it (2413)

On 11/18/2009 at 1:17am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, me, a coworker, and my manager were looking at random advertisements. One ad was a picture of three fishes. My coworker named the three fishes what I thought were completely random names. I said "those are stupid names." Turns out those are my manager's kid's names. FML

#6348891
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8309) - you deserved it (29099)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I screamed, used one of my employees as a human shield, dove for cover, and cried. Why? A bat flew into my store. Bats scare me shitless. FML

#6342558
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23419) - you deserved it (9077)

On 11/17/2009 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

#6338943
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35841) - you deserved it (3904)

On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)



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