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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML

#1127830
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55235) - you deserved it (3247)

On 04/19/2009 at 7:07pm - work - by guessimdead (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going really well until I noticed a bug on my interviewer's lower neck. I shouted that something really disgusting was crawling on him. It turns out it was his big hairy mole. FML

#1125126
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17793) - you deserved it (55525)

On 04/19/2009 at 5:52pm - work - by Crunchy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out with some disabled people at the day-centre where I work. We had the music blasting and were laughing and dancing around. My boss took me aside and said that it wasn't really appropriate for me to mock the clients by imitating their dancing. That's just how I dance. FML

#1103682
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60522) - you deserved it (5034)

On 04/18/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I was going 73 in a 55 on a country road when an oncoming cop passed me. He pulled a U turn. I turned off the main road and took random turns. I got lost, was 30 minutes late to work, and the cop still found me and gave me two tickets. I had to ask him for directions. FML

#1021876
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10118) - you deserved it (86908)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:52pm - work - by TheBRADLeyB (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent a cover letter to a potential employer. In the letter, I talked about my great attention to detail, my strong ability to focus, and my stellar writing skills. After hitting send, I reread the letter and noticed that I typed my name "B-R-A-I-N." My name is Brian. FML

#1008813
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14203) - you deserved it (50843)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:09am - work - by jusfonzin (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was stage managing a school show. Some kids were goofing off backstage, so I yelled at them that they could hurt themselves. While walking back to my chair, I tripped over my own feet and fell 5 feet off the stage. I shattered my cheekbone telling kids they would hurt themselves. FML

#994417
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47437) - you deserved it (11967)

On 04/15/2009 at 4:06pm - work - by AllThatJazz (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a customer came in to the Pizza store where I work and complained that the food they had purchased had a strand of black hair in it. After some deliberation, my boss decided to fire me. He is the only staff member there with black hair. I shaved my hair 2 weeks ago. FML

#965793
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78651) - you deserved it (3034)

On 04/14/2009 at 7:18am - work - by hcfan (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was working at a local restaurant when another server's table called me over to ask if I've "ever killed anybody". They informed me I looked like a serial killer. I informed them, of course, that I have never killed anybody. Another customer claimed I scared her child. I was fired. FML

#964026
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67906) - you deserved it (4141)

On 04/14/2009 at 2:13am - work - by Bob (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60812) - you deserved it (6883)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was waitressing when a man sat at my table with soda from somewhere else. Drinks are half the profit for restaurants. There is a strict policy that you have to charge for carry-in drinks. I told him this, he yelled at me so I told him I was doing my job. I got fired, for doing my job. FML

#919525
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51876) - you deserved it (3694)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:07pm - work - by waitress (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I noticed a spider on a female co-worker's shirt. I gently brushed it off. She accused me of sexual harassment. FML

Today, I was training for my new job at a restaurant. As part of training, they give you free food so you know what to reccommend, and the dish I got was really good. Eight hours later I saw it again while I was puking; I got food poisoning from my own place of work. FML

#914179
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47751) - you deserved it (2934)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12pm - work - by newhostess (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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