Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I realized that customers at my work ask me "Are you new or just stupid?" just as often as they did when I first started. FML

#21305199
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28503) - you deserved it (7529)

On 11/24/2014 at 2:21pm - work - by stupid - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML

#21304848
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32764) - you deserved it (2644)

On 11/23/2014 at 10:48pm - work - by justinmdent - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

#21304749
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31088) - you deserved it (2988)

On 11/23/2014 at 8:59pm - work - by StomachofTinfoil (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, in thanks for my assistance, a customer recommended me a plastic surgeon who could "really help with that face." FML

#21304340
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27058) - you deserved it (2105)

On 11/23/2014 at 5:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the Salvation Army stationed one of their obnoxious bell-ringers in the mall right outside my store. My employees and I can wave goodbye to any form of sanity for the next month. FML

#21304339
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26167) - you deserved it (4442)

On 11/23/2014 at 5:03am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally called my boss 'mom'. Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML

#21304319
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30308) - you deserved it (3713)

On 11/23/2014 at 3:31am - work - by naladetet - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss announced he is coming with us. FML

#21303728
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29043) - you deserved it (3417)

On 11/22/2014 at 5:16am - work - by Carnage23 (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML

#21303116
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29809) - you deserved it (3542)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:11am - work - by TJ AJ RJ / IV the V - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

#21302935
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29302) - you deserved it (9429)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

#21302927
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32819) - you deserved it (2553)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by spreadburger - United States (Florida)

Today, I knocked an old-school slide carousel off my desk, scattering nearly 100 individual slides everywhere, including the specific slides my professor asked me to digitally scan, which were placed carefully on top. None of them are numbered. FML

#21302910
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25288) - you deserved it (4991)

On 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

#21302784
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32514) - you deserved it (3558)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

#21302690
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31745) - you deserved it (3601)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:20am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: