Today, at work, I used my foot to flush the toilet, lost my balance, and ended up catching myself with my foot in the toilet. FML

by gmian / 12/06/2015 at 12:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my partner and I got called out to a domestic disturbance. Things turned ugly while we were en-route. Long story short, I now know how many grown men it takes to lift a nearly 400lb shit-covered woman onto a stretcher. I almost reconsidered my choice of career. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2015 at 10:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, even though I've been studying and working with children and adolescents for the last 14 years, I've come to find that their parents' behavior tends to be worse than their children's. FML

by sarcasticjane / 12/04/2015 at 1:17pm / United States (North Dakota) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I completed my two-month internship, where I have been working as hard as I could with the hope of being hired. My boss couldn't remember my name, and declined to be a reference. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2015 at 4:47am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, after working my ass off for months trying to prove myself, I received an email from my boss regarding the end-year function. Excited to be invited, I opened the email just to see I'm the only one being left behind to answer the phones. FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2015 at 5:41am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, HR sent a review email to me asking me to anonymously tell them about my boss. I decided to use this opportunity to tell them what a dick he was. I printed off the review, filled it out, then scanned and emailed it to myself. Or so I thought. Turns out I'd sent the review to my boss. FML

by jobless / 11/30/2015 at 11:01pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, after 3 months of successful business at my restaurant, sales are down the shitter. Why? Because some no-life troll started posting loads of bad reviews online. He uses different names, but nothing in the reviews has ever happened. We can't get the reviews taken down. FML

by jacobianscum / 11/29/2015 at 2:05am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, we were all put in groups to make a presentation together. And by "together" I mean I pulled an all nighter to finish it by myself. My group criticized my work. FML

by aloneagainnaturally / 11/28/2015 at 6:35am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Work

Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2015 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boss confirmed he is a micro-managing asshole. We walked into the office together and I turned on the lights. He switched them off and switched them on again, just to make sure that I did it right. FML

by fabz / 11/27/2015 at 7:39am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Work

Today, I had to carry a 25kg bag of cement to an elderly customer's car because she refused to use a cart. "You're paid to work, so I'm gonna make you work." FML

by I hate retail / 11/26/2015 at 9:26pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, my boss fired three of the four other people who were going to work with me on Black Friday in my department. Now it's just me and a new hire. My boss doesn't see a problem. FML

Today, when my boss said, "Don't worry, I know all the requirements," she actually meant, "I know nothing, and will scream at you in rage because you cannot psychically divine all the requirements the day before a major holiday when no one is available to talk to you." FML

by Betterthanthis / 11/25/2015 at 3:16pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work