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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML

#21455888
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22996) - you deserved it (9055)

On 08/14/2015 at 5:35am - work - by babbling idiot - Canada

Today, a woman drove her car onto my closed worksite. Since it is hazardous for the general public, I told her to leave. Later, the police arrived and gave me hell. Apparently, I was reported for being "snippy". FML

#21455499
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25200) - you deserved it (1649)

On 08/13/2015 at 5:58am - work - by SteamLass765 (woman) -

Today, a customer came in to the Walmart I cashier at, trying to set me up with her daughter. This isn't the first time she's tried. As she so graciously put it, her daughter "has a thing for the wimpy nerdy types". FML

#21455427
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23890) - you deserved it (2167)

On 08/13/2015 at 12:13am - work - by Highroller_17 - United States

Today, I let out a huge fart during a job interview. I was the one conducting the interview. FML

#21455368
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20990) - you deserved it (4905)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:18pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML

#21454901
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29462) - you deserved it (2949)

On 08/11/2015 at 7:05pm - work - by NotJobbing (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at my job working retail, I had just finished cleaning and straightening a whole aisle. This kid watched me do the whole thing. When I was done, he stuck his arm out, and ran it down the whole shelf, knocking everything off it. His mother just grabbed his hand and walked away. FML

#21454203
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29292) - you deserved it (1734)

On 08/10/2015 at 8:23am - work - by RetailRage (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to serve an incredibly rude and irrationally angry customer, but I managed to keep my cool. When he finally went to leave with his purchase, I wished him a good day. He whirled around and yelled "I'll have whatever the fuck kind of day I want, bitch!" FML

#21453572
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27311) - you deserved it (1877)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:23pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the jackoffs at my new job kept making jokes about my prosthetic leg. When I finally lost my shit and told one of them to back off, he said "Woah there, Mr Pistorius!" then said he'll avoid using the restroom now in case I decide to shoot him through the door. FML

#21453154
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28284) - you deserved it (1771)

On 08/07/2015 at 1:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML

#21453118
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22193) - you deserved it (5387)

On 08/07/2015 at 11:16am - work - by not telling you my name (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boss at my new job described a client as "retarded". I corrected him with "mentally disabled". He smirked and replied "Whatever. Just explain things to her real slow. After all, she's 'mentally disabled'. And a woman." I need this job so bad that I'll have to just put up with this asshole. FML

#21453104
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26031) - you deserved it (3390)

On 08/07/2015 at 10:27am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got fired from my part-time job, because I insisted on keeping my phone in my pocket and never using it, instead of putting it in locker without a lock or security camera, that anyone can go through. The manager found out by searching my locker for the past 3 weeks. Ironic. FML

#21452906
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26585) - you deserved it (2229)

On 08/06/2015 at 8:29pm - work - by Chesty Larue - United States

Today, I had to take a drugs test at work. Later, I found out it was my fiancé's mother who called our hotline. Her reason: I work till 6 pm, her "baby" should eat before that, but he can't cook, so I should quit my job. He is 35. And he thinks I should apologize for upsetting her at dinner. FML

#21452641
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27681) - you deserved it (2572)

On 08/06/2015 at 7:16am - work - by Dobche (woman) - Bulgaria (Burgas)

Today, at work, the girl I've been into for the past 6 months confessed that she liked me, but also confessed she had sex with our boss. Our boss happens to be my dad. FML

#21452615
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27815) - you deserved it (1718)

On 08/06/2015 at 4:33am - work - by anonymous - United States (California)



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