Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I realized that my company's calendar is synchronized throughout the whole building. The entire company now knows that I made love to my wife last Wednesday and Friday, and that I went out with a girl named Janet on Saturday. My wife's name is Julie, and she works in the same building. FML

#3256249
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10886) - you deserved it (162847)

On 06/26/2009 at 9:32pm - work - by Fred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while working at a fast food restaurant, I stayed a little overtime to help my manager with dishes. A kid pooped in the slide in the playground area attached to the restaurant itself. I'm the smallest one there. I had to crawl UP the slide to find and clean the poop. FML

#3228837
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39749) - you deserved it (3228)

On 06/26/2009 at 1:43am - work - by donezo (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was cashiering at a grocery store when an elderly woman came through my line buying prune juice. She then whispered to me that last time she bought it, she "blew up her toilet". FML

#3225149
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37013) - you deserved it (2379)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML

#3208136
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57601) - you deserved it (3288)

On 06/25/2009 at 6:29pm - work - by dazedandconfused (woman) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML

#3203701
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44181) - you deserved it (2668)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:22pm - work - by KP (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML

#3201910
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (11214)

On 06/25/2009 at 10:13am - work - by KN (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML

#3179534
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12993) - you deserved it (65642)

On 06/24/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by Whoops (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I enlisted for The Navy because my Boy Scout leader encouraged me. He fought in Korea and is a real inspiration. I asked him what motivated him to join The Navy. He said he was drunk and didn't remember joining until he was called up. FML

#3172918
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34862) - you deserved it (9140)

On 06/24/2009 at 12:37pm - work - by ArmyMan (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, by request from my new boss, I came into work over an hour early to finish some backed-up filing. This seemed like a great opportunity to earn some extra overtime pay. After spending an hour and half filing, I realized I hadn't clocked in for the day. FML

#3170547
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16529) - you deserved it (36780)

On 06/24/2009 at 10:34am - work - by Tottie (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML

#3168193
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65182) - you deserved it (2537)

On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

#3142518
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26353) - you deserved it (77571)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work I got told off by my manager for texting while working. Enraged by this, I trash talked her to the new girl at work. The new girl, a.k.a. my manager's daughter. FML

#3137234
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8164) - you deserved it (60751)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:04am - work - by Don't text and work (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had an interview with IBM. For a week I did extensive research and preparation for the interview. At first the interview was going really well. I was hitting all the marks. Then just as a final casual question she asked with a smile "What does IBM stand for?". I didn't know. FML

#3134533
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34190) - you deserved it (23704)

On 06/22/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by MrZhang (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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