Today, after handing in my resume to get a part-time job, I tried leaving, but the door wouldn't open. It was the "in" door. The person I gave my resume to had to slowly explain this to me. FML

by nevergettingajob / 02/22/2012 at 1:10pm / Canada / Work

Today, I spent my day creating a new type of laugh, and performing it in my head. FML

by annoym / 02/21/2012 at 6:49am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML

by kat / 02/21/2012 at 4:53am / Reserved / Work

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm / United States / Work

Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML

by Christinemh329 / 02/17/2012 at 1:22am / United States / Work

Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML

by Tay / 02/16/2012 at 8:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I got a new job. This would've been a good thing, but apparently, the person I'm replacing was very well-liked around my workplace. All of my co-workers hate me now for replacing someone who I don't even know. FML

by That_guy / 02/12/2012 at 1:02am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

by great / 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm / United States / Work

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

by Silver_Samurai / 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm / Netherlands / Work

Today, I was sick, so I emailed my co-workers with a list of my hours, asking if anyone would be willing to cover them for me. I only got one hour covered, and that was during a day I don't even work. FML

by Girl With a Cold / 02/08/2012 at 1:46pm / Work

Today, I got denied a job. They told me I was unreliable because I didn't show up for my third interview. This is the same interview they called and cancelled this morning. FML

by abrooks88 / 02/08/2012 at 11:53am / United States / Work

Today, I sneaked off work early. As I was in the elevator on the way down to leave, it stopped at my boss's floor, and he got in. FML

by ronz / 02/08/2012 at 8:26am / Work