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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had a job interview but couldn't find my car keys. I had searched the entire apartment and had missed the interview. Turns out they were in my pocket the entire time. FML

#2989467
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14169) - you deserved it (48970)

On 06/18/2009 at 6:37am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went for a really important job interview. She loved my portfolio and we got along really well. But I guess that a corner of my skirt got caught underneath my shoe when I stood up to shake her hand, exposing my teenytiny underwear and neglected bikini line. She didnt shake my hand back. FML

Today, at my job in a chemists, I had a customer ask me which acne cream I would recommend. I picked up the brand I use and told her that I've been using it for a year now. After pausing to stare at my face for a second, she thanked me and picked up the competing brand instead. FML

#2966827
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39071) - you deserved it (5019)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I was working as a service writer in an auto service shop. A really cute girl came in to buy a headlight, I offered to install the bulb for her. My hand got stuck behind the headlight, she had to ask one of our mechanics to come remove the air box from her car to get my hand out. FML

#2958719
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23717) - you deserved it (9287)

On 06/16/2009 at 11:42pm - work - by stuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 mins. I stayed in there even though I finished shitting after 5 mins, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

#2937594
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31918) - you deserved it (4213)

On 06/16/2009 at 10:59am - work - by yuen (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while I was working in the liquor store, I was trying to impress my hot boss by lifting three cases of Grey goose. Turns out I can't, and I'll be working for the next two months of the rest of my summer paying it all back. FML

#2900740
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7884) - you deserved it (55286)

On 06/15/2009 at 12:13am - work - by damgoose (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as a prank, my friends put a big bucket of water on my door so that it would spill on me as I exited my room. It would have been funny if I hadn't been holding my $900 laptop as I was walking out. FML

#2887279
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53490) - you deserved it (2612)

On 06/14/2009 at 3:14pm - work - by Dominic (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I gave a carpet shampooing demonstration in a stranger's home. To my surprise, the white expensive carpet was dyed grey due to something in the solution. The owner held me hostage in her house by barracading the door until my manager got there. FML

#2861063
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43503) - you deserved it (7937)

On 06/13/2009 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

#2850957
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67228) - you deserved it (4372)

On 06/13/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says "I've been a dirty dirty girl" in a seductive tone, I thought she meant about the table so I said "yes you have" then she winked at me, I walked away fast. FML

#2824083
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44893) - you deserved it (8732)

On 06/12/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

#2821458
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68942) - you deserved it (3705)

On 06/12/2009 at 1:33am - work - by Shoes (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns $10,000 more than me. FML

#2798980
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58682) - you deserved it (3024)

On 06/11/2009 at 11:21am - work - by girlfriday (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78022) - you deserved it (21856)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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