Today, I have an ear infection, and everything I hear echoes inside my head. I'm an orchestra teacher, and we have our first concert next week. FML

by dolceconfuoco / 10/20/2011 at 12:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, at my job in a nursing home, the State Department of Health inspected us, during which a dementia patient repeatedly screamed that I always hurt her. This was the first time that I'd ever seen her. FML

by Whoops / 10/20/2011 at 12:36am / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to my lectures is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML

by Habit / 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Work

Today, I found out my boss and some employees on my floor have bets placed on who can get the best picture of my ass. I found out when one of the pictures was accidentally sent to me. FML

by ikickgingers / 10/19/2011 at 12:49pm / United States / Work

Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML

by derbyboy / 10/19/2011 at 1:38am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Work

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

by number2 / 10/17/2011 at 9:14pm / United States / Work

Today, I learned the hard way how easy it is to get on my boss's bad side. We were talking about reality TV shows and I'd mentioned how much I despise Snooki, and how useless to the planet she is. Now I fear for my job. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2011 at 5:37pm / United States / Work

Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML

by Kate / 10/16/2011 at 10:50pm / United States / Work

Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

by Mayabie / 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm / France / Work

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

by Unemployed / 10/16/2011 at 3:15am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, at work, a customer asked for my number. When I declined, he made a huge scene, shouting and scaring other customers. He tipped me seven cents. FML

by scribbler8 / 10/14/2011 at 5:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 4:17am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I realized that the redneck, hick, abusive family that my co-workers always joke about is my family. FML

by anon / 10/11/2011 at 7:52am / United States / Work