Today, on my second day at my new job, my supervisor told me that I was ready to make a sale on my own. Things were going well, until said supervisor interrupted my sales pitch, apologized on my behalf for being new, and stole my sale. FML

by TheNewSalesRep / 01/20/2016 at 9:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, a customer filed a complaint against me because my coworker took too long to do a price check. I hate my job. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2016 at 10:32am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was talking to one of my supervisors at my new job. He asked if I knew a professor at the school I recently graduated from, and I decided to babble on about how shitty of a professor he was and how much I loathed his class. He then looked at me and said, "That's my dad." FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2016 at 9:51pm / United States (Kansas) / Work

Today, I was told that if I was caught yawning again, I'd be fired. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2016 at 6:36pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I was fired. Not only was I fired with no warning, not only was my friend the one who fired me, but I was fired from the unpaid volunteering position I took to help her out. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2016 at 9:18am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I was at a very important meeting with a client and I had to use the bathroom. I was so nervous that I squirted white soap all up my suit jacket. My client walked in and commented on my "jizzy" blazer. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2016 at 5:50am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I work 732 miles away from my wife and three children, and I rarely get to go home. After giving up many hours of family time to work on my last home visit, I returned to work only to have my boss accuse me of stealing time, dock me 50 hours, and "review" my employment for termination. FML

by I'm over it / 01/15/2016 at 9:09pm / United States / Work

Today, I accidentally broke an expensive glass display shelf at work. My coworker joked, "Ooh, that's gonna come out of your paycheck!" My boss thought that was a great idea. FML

by 73012211 / 01/15/2016 at 3:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got pulled off a hugely important project, all because I accidentally spelled "country" as "cuntry" in an email to our client. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2016 at 12:47pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML

by sciencenat / 01/14/2016 at 1:36am / Work

Today, I arrived at the kennels I work in to find the power disconnected and the water pump off. This meant I had to bucket water and carry it to keep over sixty assorted dogs and cats alive in temperatures over 90 degrees. The moment I finished, the power came back on. FML

by TooFlamingHot / 01/13/2016 at 9:08pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, at work a customer yelled at me, called me a 'fucking bitch', 'a fat whore', and, told me to lose weight because I wouldn't let her in the grocery store I work at to buy lettuce, after we'd closed. Lettuce for her lizard. FML

by midnightblade163 / 01/13/2016 at 7:06am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, neither I nor any of my coworkers understand why our boss hates me enough that I feel the need to carry pepperspray on me at all times. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2016 at 1:58am / United States (California) / Work