Today, I'm filling in as a secretary. My only job is to answer the phone. So far the phone has rung three times: when I was in the bathroom, when I went to get the mail and when I was shredding papers where there is no phone. Everyone here thinks I am slacking off. FML

by mdimanzy / 06/06/2016 at 4:20pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I set my phone down at work in the back while I helped a customer. When I came back it was gone. It took me twenty minutes to find, duct taped to the ceiling. FML

by oh no / 06/06/2016 at 11:45am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggest that she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill myself because of my severe medical condition". FML

by really / 06/05/2016 at 5:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I regret calling my hardass boss a cocksucking bastard when I quit a few months back. My new job just laid me off, and I could desperately use a good reference from the aforementioned cocksucking bastard. FML

by larsn / 06/03/2016 at 4:32pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I went to a professional development meeting with my boss to discuss how I'm doing and what we want from each other next year. I left without a job. FML

Today, my professor called me out for drinking whiskey in class. I was actually drinking iced tea. FML

by Imagino1234 / 06/02/2016 at 12:32pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the underwire in my bra snapped as my 9-hour workday started. FML

by SmileAndSayHi / 06/01/2016 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I looked in my voicemails on my phone. I recently got a message saying that I got the job, which was very exciting because it's my first job. Too bad it was sent 2 weeks ago and I just got it because I upgraded my phone. FML

by Dr_Awesome654 / 05/31/2016 at 2:55am / United States (Missouri) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML

by Roostermann25 / 05/30/2016 at 9:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I received an email asking for a Skype interview at 11 am sharp. I waited for half an hour. He never even accepted my contact request. FML

by Heatherrolstonn / 05/29/2016 at 4:13pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2016 at 1:05am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, it's been months since I graduated university. I still haven't managed to land a single interview. Meanwhile my brother recently woke up from a week long bender, realized he had no money for weed, went out, and 4 days later landed a well paid sales job 15 minutes from home. FML

by yamblam5 / 05/28/2016 at 11:32pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I was so tired, I passed out at work in the middle of a call. All because my neighbor's car alarm kept going off every 3 minutes all through the morning. It was still going when I left for work. If you see a news story in a few days about a whole neighborhood beating a guy to death, that's probably us. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2016 at 9:00am / United States (Georgia) / Work