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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I auditioned for a part and made it because the director thought I would be "perfect" for the part and I was "just like the character in every way." The part is for a schizophrenic drug addict who everyone hates and is stabbed to death in the second scene. FML

#6274583
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26599) - you deserved it (3953)

On 11/12/2009 at 4:37pm - work - by Falafax (man) - United States

Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML

#6268866
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26554) - you deserved it (2931)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:14am - work - by FML (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I realized that if you are too lazy to get completely dressed in the morning and only put on a top, you should not answer a Skype video call from your boss that involves you standing up, turning around and grabbing files from your filing cabinet all in clear view of your web cam. FML

#6264237
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7629) - you deserved it (38358)

On 11/11/2009 at 8:54pm - work - by julie (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I interviewed potential employees for a job position that I was supposed to get promoted to. FML

#6259115
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31114) - you deserved it (2027)

On 11/11/2009 at 3:28pm - work - by NCanalyst - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I received a call offering me a job with the census bureau. I applied for this job 6 months ago while I was still fighting tooth and nail to stay where I was. Since I didn't get the job, I was evicted from my apartment, got on public assistance, and moved from North Carolina to Florida with my mother. FML

#6245909
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26381) - you deserved it (2222)

On 11/10/2009 at 6:04pm - work - by GillyPirate (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got an invitation to my "going away lunch" the company is throwing for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

#6243390
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30523) - you deserved it (1665)

On 11/10/2009 at 2:16pm - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I received a rejection letter from a company I interviewed with three weeks ago. They didn't mention giving my $200 portfolio back. Guess I'll keep using my 4-year degree to wait tables. FML

#6238713
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25026) - you deserved it (2764)

On 11/10/2009 at 1:20am - work - by blargggggg (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that I didn't get a job because I failed the psychological analysis. It told me to answer each question and tell the truth. So I did. I ask my friend, who got the job, if she told the truth. She said no. Apparently you have to lie in order to get a job. Sorry for being honest. FML

#6235478
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25787) - you deserved it (6945)

On 11/09/2009 at 9:28pm - work - by samantha711 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was taking a final test online that would account for 65% of my final grade. I had worked extremely hard in that class. I had one submission for the test. My roommate thought it would be funny to click the "Submit All" Button while i was getting a glass of water. I got a 13%. FML

#6230724
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38802) - you deserved it (2987)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:13pm - work - by Failure (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad drove me to work which is an hour away. 20 minutes into the job, I was told 'Didn't we tell you last week? We let you go.' Clearly, no, they didn't. I had to wait one awkward hour, with my colleagues who knew I was fired before I did, for my dad to collect me. FML

#6208553
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28175) - you deserved it (1982)

On 11/08/2009 at 5:07am - work - by FML (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, someone at work was bragging that their son was high school valedictorian and offered a full college scholarship. 7 years ago, I was also valedictorian and got that same scholarship. All I said was, "Congratulations. Did you want fries with that?" and continued taking their order. FML

Today, I went to meet a potential client at StarBucks all the way across town about designing his website. I was extremely excited because I really need the work. I sat for an hour. Turns out he was across the street, at the other StarBucks. FML

#6185222
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28758) - you deserved it (5859)

On 11/06/2009 at 6:14pm - work - by CoffeeBoy (man) - United States (Nevada)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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