Today, my husband declined a $100k/year job due to him thinking that a full time job at one work place would be too 'depressing'. I'm a nurse and have to wipe other people's arses for a living, then come home to this lazy dick. FML

by Lauren / 08/09/2011 at 9:48am / Australia (South Australia) / Work

Today, while cleaning the bathroom in a suite at the hotel I work at, I heard a couple come in, and then a marriage proposal. She said no, that she had been seeing someone else and left the room. I was then alone in the bathroom, listening to a grown man sob. FML

by smurfpoo / 08/09/2011 at 3:35am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I was at work with my dad. He told me the only reason he's letting me work with him over the summer is because I'm a friendless loser, and he didn't want me staying home getting fatter. FML

by recordyear / 08/09/2011 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my dad said he can't go to my graduation because he has to work. He got fired a month ago. FML

by allinicolesmh / 08/08/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was driving home from a long day at work fixing people's electronics. When I got home, I got a call from work saying I needed to go back and help a customer with their TV again. When I got there, after an hour of driving, I realized I'd accidentally kicked the power cord out. FML

by Dispute / 08/08/2011 at 1:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML

by a-mishunderstanding / 08/08/2011 at 12:07am / Work

Today, at my workplace, a TV was installed just above my register at work which plays the same mind-numbingly awful 13 second ad on loop for the duration of our latest sale. The sale lasts for what are going to be three very long weeks. FML

by Kris / 08/07/2011 at 4:37pm / China / Work

Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML

by power corrupts... / 08/07/2011 at 4:29pm / Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj) / Work

Today, I found out my ex is applying for a job at my current company. She may be my boss. FML

by - Moved Across the Country / 08/06/2011 at 2:05am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML

by joshua / 08/05/2011 at 8:18pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was working at the hospital front desk when an elderly man started hurling racial slurs at another visitor. A fight broke out, so I stepped in and forcibly separated the two. The old man tripped and crashed to the floor. Now I'm under investigation for "contributing to workplace violence." FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 7:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, the woman I'm training at work asked, while staring intently at the keyboard, "now, which one of these buttons is the space-bar again?" She is 80 years old, types about 1 word per minute, and I have just one week to get her completely trained. FML

by jhftrainer23 / 08/05/2011 at 10:42am / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, severely tired and pulling an all-nighter, I was editing documents at work. Eventually the words blurred together and "which" began to look funny, so I corrected them. I realized too late that I'd turned in the company's brochure with every "which" spelt as "witch". FML

by Donny / 08/04/2011 at 4:49pm / United States / Work