Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I went into work to set up a new store. There was a lot of lifting so I dressed casual. This happened to be the day the owner brought in his conservative family to check out the store. I was wearing a shirt that says "everyone poops" and has a donkey and elephant pooping. FML

#1616689
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13040) - you deserved it (53237)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:40am - work - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (162032) - you deserved it (39920)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, the prizes were given to the employee of the month. They come in to surprise the winner and give prizes. They come over to my cubicle and cover me with silly string. Jokingly, I said: "Do you guys have the wrong cubicle? " They did. The guy in the next cubicle won. FML

#1497553
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47708) - you deserved it (5820)

On 04/30/2009 at 5:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

#1487277
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49653) - you deserved it (9804)

On 04/30/2009 at 10:55am - work - by RckRagman (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work I grabbed some customer keys off the board. I was checking out their cool flashlight keychain. At the exact moment I realized it wasn't a keychain, I pepper sprayed myself directly in the right eye. FML

Today, after two months of unemployment, I got a call from a marketing firm offering me an interview for an entry-level position. While Googling the company, I discovered it's a scam. I graduated college in 3 years with a 3.5 GPA, and the only interview I can get is at a fake company. FML

#1394893
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43837) - you deserved it (3454)

On 04/27/2009 at 3:46pm - work - by Journo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

#1382386
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32771) - you deserved it (6923)

On 04/27/2009 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, one of the guests I was in the middle of seating knocked an empty wine glass from the table. I assured them it was all right and kneeled down to pick up the now broken glass. The lady insisted on helping as far as picking the glass up and dumping the shards into my open hands. FML

#1342921
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39369) - you deserved it (2551)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:35am - work - by shadowednavi (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML

#1316635
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51400) - you deserved it (4514)

On 04/25/2009 at 10:23am - work - by Gabrielguitar (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was fired from my job of 5 years. I was let go because I couldn't take the company to 'the next level'. My now ex-boss asked me if I could process my severance check because he didn't know how. I had to write myself my last paycheck. FML

#1315849
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50342) - you deserved it (2173)

On 04/25/2009 at 9:31am - work - by feistychick (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, was my graduation from a prestigious university. In two days I start working at a hot dog stand. FML

#1312643
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54567) - you deserved it (12379)

On 04/25/2009 at 2:39am - work - by CollegeGrad (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticed her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushed the payment process up and handed her the receipt. The little boy says "Mommy" and the mom looks down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walks out. The boy peed on the floor. FML

#1309415
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46940) - you deserved it (1557)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:35am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: