Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML

#15025129
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10228) - you deserved it (42994)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:33am - work - by Username -

Today, I was forced to attend a fire safety class, as required by my job. Last year, I completed the fire academy as a volunteer fireman. The class was not only insulting, but wrong in many ways. I got kicked out for pointing them out. I now have to take it again, or be fired. FML

#15020187
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28579) - you deserved it (5645)

On 02/17/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by peeved (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered out of the 20 job applications only one job called me for an interview. They told me to leave after two sentences. FML

#14954069
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27176) - you deserved it (8146)

On 02/13/2011 at 12:31am - work - by jobless - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I got a notice in the mail saying I had been fired from my job. My dad's the boss, who I happen to live with. FML

#14945401
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31123) - you deserved it (3618)

On 02/12/2011 at 2:50am - work - by Austin - United States (California)

Today, after informing my boss I needed stress leave from my 70 hour a week shifts, I got my new work assignment. Sixty hours a week starting at 2am. FML

#14942449
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27784) - you deserved it (3898)

On 02/11/2011 at 11:02pm - work - by NotAMorningPerson - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

#14935582
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31160) - you deserved it (3689)

On 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was posted with a very lonely gate-guard. From the second I arrived, I had to listen to him drone on and on, and now I know his entire life story. I was there for four hours. FML

#14932572
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23598) - you deserved it (3964)

On 02/11/2011 at 4:54am - work - by anonymous -

Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML

#14932173
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32344) - you deserved it (3827)

On 02/11/2011 at 3:27am - work - by alliwantisabandaid -

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

#14923153
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23846) - you deserved it (12127)

On 02/10/2011 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I reported in for my first day at work. When I walked in they asked "Who are you?" I answered "Cassie, it's my first day today" with a huge smile. They'd meant to call and offer the job to the other Cassie they interviewed. FML

#14920871
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34688) - you deserved it (2494)

On 02/10/2011 at 9:55am - work - by theothercassie -

Today, to prevent a fistfight at work, I had to mediate a contested debate between two coworkers on what was evidently a very touchy subject: Which is better, the orange creamsicle or the ice cream sandwich? I was the only one to get in trouble for wasting company time. FML

#14917539
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27004) - you deserved it (4478)

On 02/10/2011 at 12:31am - work - by geoduck - United States

Today, I was on the phone with an elderly customer at work. I had to spend 10 minutes listening to him describe how the underwear he bought was too tight and caused his bladder to leak. FML

#14913113
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26890) - you deserved it (2722)

On 02/09/2011 at 7:41pm - work - by spiderchick23 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, it was my first day at work as a cashier. I was so nervous that my whole body got numb and my eye sight completely blurred. I ran to the bathroom blind while bumping into everything in the store, making sure that everyone knew I had a problem. FML

#14905447
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25542) - you deserved it (7279)

On 02/09/2011 at 2:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: