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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I won an award at school for my hard work. Afterwards, my parents told me off. Why? They wanted my brother to get it instead of me. FML

#5825419
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33545) - you deserved it (1542)

On 10/14/2009 at 4:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had my first job interview in years. While I was waiting for the manager to come out I realized I had forgotten the resume that I had printed out the night before, since he specifically asked me to bring one. FML

#5825013
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7055) - you deserved it (23539)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:45am - work - by jzone32 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finished moving to my new apartment that is 45 minutes away from my old one because my workplace would be closer. I then get a phone call from my boss telling me that he will transfer me to another workplace (closer to my old apartment). FML

#5815195
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26553) - you deserved it (1988)

On 10/13/2009 at 12:00pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while working as a plain clothes police officer, I witnessed a fight in a front yard. My partner and I intervened and clearly identified ourselves as police. Unfortunately, the two guys' mother didn't have her hearing aid in, and hit my arm with a baseball bat. FML

#5792064
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30773) - you deserved it (3987)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:38am - work - by Undercover (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a customer at work became violent and started hitting me and my coworker. Not wanting him to get the shit beat out of us, I used a move that pinned the guy on the ground. The police came and he was arrested. I was then fired for assaulting a customer. FML

#5788533
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37934) - you deserved it (2131)

On 10/12/2009 at 12:16am - work - by selfdefense - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML

#5764838
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13547) - you deserved it (33986)

On 10/10/2009 at 9:04pm - work - by SadisticSatire (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was fired from a job I didn't have. The manager in charge of calling me to tell me if I got the job never called, and never called me back when I left messages. The only time he called me was to fire me for not coming to orientation, which, by the way, he never called to tell me about. FML

#5753501
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36982) - you deserved it (2069)

On 10/10/2009 at 3:23am - work - by superjesse006 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my best friend and I went to the movies. There was a hot cashier, so I thought it would be cool to talk in a British accent to try and be sexy. I walked up and started talking when he interrupted me and said in a very heavy British accent, "I know you're faking. You can stop now." FML

#5752857
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6936) - you deserved it (53153)

On 10/10/2009 at 2:10am - work - by dammitt (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML

#5735299
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7609) - you deserved it (45103)

On 10/09/2009 at 3:09am - work - by whitedevil (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was refereeing a kid's soccer game, and noticed that on the field next to me was a referee I hated working with. I told the other referee I was working with that he was the laziest and most dumbass referee I had ever worked with. She then slapped me, and told me that it was her grandpa. FML

#5734528
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7425) - you deserved it (36234)

On 10/09/2009 at 1:48am - work - by y0uw1shy0ukn3wm3 - United States

Today, I had my leaving party after work to celebrate getting a new job. 3 people turned up. I'd invited 35. FML

#5720905
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28559) - you deserved it (4848)

On 10/08/2009 at 12:13pm - work - by Dan (man) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, on my break, I decided to be friendly and chat with a co-worker that everyone else always seems to avoid. He spent the next ten minutes telling me all about his abcessing sebaceous cysts. Apparently, "The scars look just like gunshot wounds." FML

#5707882
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (5226)

On 10/07/2009 at 6:36pm - work - by loverofstrife (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML

#5697763
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46994) - you deserved it (10495)

On 10/07/2009 at 3:05am - work - by screwed (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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