Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was at a second interview for a job that I really need as I got laid off last month. Midway through the interview, I went to cross my legs and realized I had 2 different shoes on. FML

#3637305
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33574) - you deserved it (18872)

On 07/10/2009 at 11:08am - work - by unemployed (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss requested that I re-organize every file in the office, because she wanted the filing cabinets alphabetized right to left, not left to right. To thank me, she came into my office to give me one uncooked ear of corn. I think my boss has mistaken me for some kind of farm animal. FML

#3613617
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45627) - you deserved it (3214)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:17pm - work - by ST3PH (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my laptop plug got stuck in the wall outlet. I stood there for 10 minutes violently trying to yank it out. My boss came in and screamed at me for making noise. I was angry, so I glared at him and yanked on the plug as hard as I could. It dislodged itself noiselessly and I fell over. FML

#3601135
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9771) - you deserved it (36935)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:33am - work - by aireun (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at work, I was calling customers to tell them that they had prescriptions waiting to be picked up. It was a long list and every time I reached an answering machine I left our number so they could call us back. When I was finished, the pharmacist told me I been giving out our fax number. FML

#3582524
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15050) - you deserved it (34643)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:52pm - work - by pharmn00b (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 mins. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML

#3577359
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21692) - you deserved it (42139)

On 07/08/2009 at 8:08am - work - by joybirdnot_13 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into work to change a shift I was unable to work. I phone the first person on the employee sheet and they promptly answer by saying "You still work here? I thought the manager fired you..." I was fired last week and have been showing up for shifts without anybody noticing. FML

#3572353
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41629) - you deserved it (5491)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:21am - work - by mannnnn (man) -

Today, I left something in my boss' office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breast feeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

#3537464
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32044) - you deserved it (18666)

On 07/06/2009 at 10:09pm - work - by superclutz (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML

#3533033
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11641) - you deserved it (47734)

On 07/06/2009 at 7:28pm - work - by Cody (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my coworker came over to my desk and told me that I should protect my Twitter updates, because I had unknowingly made them public. My tweets include drinking stories, all the men I've hooked up with, various cuss words, sexual innuendos, and how much I hate my coworkers. FML

#3531559
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7023) - you deserved it (74926)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spent 3 hours looking at a youtube video for how to do rubik's cube. Even after being told how to do it, I couldn't finish it. I scroll down at the comments and read "Awesome! I'm 10 and can do it in 3 minutes now!". I'm 28 and still couldn't get it, even with a guide. FML

#3529242
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35051) - you deserved it (9794)

On 07/06/2009 at 4:08pm - work - by DoesNotLikeCubes (woman) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, I was fired from my volunteer job. Why? Because they said I was working so hard and doing such a good job that I was making the real staff look bad. FML

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

#3500742
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42966) - you deserved it (2940)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: