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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was leaving my job at a huge mall. I couldn't find my car anywhere, so I panicked and flagged a security officer. I cried while he drove me around for miles in the endless parking lot. Then, suddenly, I remembered. My friend had dropped me off in the morning. FML

#5166474
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8420) - you deserved it (50038)

On 09/10/2009 at 10:15am - work - by ritz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 45 minutes. I am an elevator mechanic. FML

#5163293
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36807) - you deserved it (6221)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:02am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML

#5154574
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32182) - you deserved it (2359)

On 09/09/2009 at 7:30pm - work - by slashteddy (woman) - United States

Today, my boss fired me because a coworker had seen me reading magazines on the job. That same coworker was the one who offered me the magazine. FML

#5129906
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37405) - you deserved it (6964)

On 09/08/2009 at 4:48pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML

#5122980
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35198) - you deserved it (3981)

On 09/08/2009 at 5:07am - work - by h0308 (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

#5110537
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34363) - you deserved it (5926)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that I was denied for work study eligibility by my college. I went to my financial advisor to ask why. It wasn't my grades or attendance. Apparently my father makes too much money for me to get a job at the school. My dad was fired 3 months ago and has been out of work since. FML

#5096534
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37546) - you deserved it (2110)

On 09/07/2009 at 1:04am - work - by SapphireRaven (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was fired from my catering job for pointing out the unsafe food conditions. I'm studying food safety in college. FML

#5079385
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33969) - you deserved it (5496)

On 09/06/2009 at 10:21am - work - by boohoo (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML

#5055493
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25944) - you deserved it (16033)

On 09/05/2009 at 3:22am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you". FML

#5033562
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53109) - you deserved it (3018)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

#5033555
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14310) - you deserved it (41998)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:30am - work - by DrGas (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML

#5017787
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46714) - you deserved it (3639)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:27am - work - by Pop_Pies (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

#5013667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17006) - you deserved it (34289)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05am - work - by yogabbagabba (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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