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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17481) - you deserved it (50484)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got into a bad car accident, where I got severe whiplash, swollen knees, and cuts everywhere. I called my boss to let him know I wouldn't be able to make it in and he fired me for being 'not dependable'. FML

#15325313
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39363) - you deserved it (3521)

On 03/15/2011 at 6:57pm - work - by in pain -

Today, I was fired from the trucking company I work for, due to numerous complaints about my reckless driving. I don't even do driving work there, but my ex keeps calling in to report me, and my boss wanted the calls to stop. FML

#15285580
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39871) - you deserved it (3239)

On 03/12/2011 at 6:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that my boss is able to read all the emails my coworker and I send each other. Most of them are about how she is such a shitty boss. FML

#15281483
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10383) - you deserved it (41308)

On 03/12/2011 at 3:34am - work - by mommyfairy - United States

Today, I woke up screaming after a nightmare about clowns, which wouldn't be too bad if I hadn't been surrounded by coworkers. FML

#15274441
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14599) - you deserved it (26898)

On 03/11/2011 at 11:05am - work - by scaredofbozo -

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for 'the trouble' I caused. FML

#15247228
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40358) - you deserved it (3645)

On 03/09/2011 at 12:36am - work - by Cashier (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was babysitting for my usual. After putting the baby to sleep I put some popcorn in the microwave and went to the bathroom. When I came out the whole kitchen was filled with smoke. One of the neighbors saw and called 911. I'm out of a job. FML

#15214579
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12446) - you deserved it (33339)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:18am - work - by Dx - United States (California)

Today, I was told that I was an idiot by a little girl because I didn't deliver a pizza to her house fast enough. FML

#15205906
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27923) - you deserved it (8672)

On 03/05/2011 at 10:46am - work - by deliveryboy - China (Shanghai)

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

#15193678
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16120) - you deserved it (27900)

On 03/04/2011 at 2:13am - work - by sharni88 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that if you see a picture in your boss's office of a extremely good looking, big breasted woman kissing him on the cheek, not to comment. Because that extremely good looking, big breasted woman, just might be his daughter. FML

#15193214
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11833) - you deserved it (43032)

On 03/04/2011 at 1:07am - work - by st00pid (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on a conference call and digital meeting at work when I got bored and started surfing the Internet. Little did I know that my desktop was being shared. My boss was on the call and saw everything. FML

#15188781
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7081) - you deserved it (35810)

On 03/03/2011 at 7:39pm - work - by hardlyworking - United States

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41533) - you deserved it (25371)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program being over, we catch some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML

#15182858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26445) - you deserved it (5119)

On 03/03/2011 at 1:58am - work - by Pickle (man) - United States (Illinois)



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