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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

#15432254
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50980) - you deserved it (4761)

On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to work despite having a nasty cold. I didn't call up sick because last week when I called in, my boss said I was being "unprofessional and unacceptable." My boss sent me home with a written warning today, claiming that coming to work sick was "unprofessional and unacceptable." FML

#15431401
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39987) - you deserved it (3643)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:59pm - work - by SickandTired (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I wasn't allowed to work from home, despite being ill enough to just take the day off anyway, so 'there could be someone to answer the phone'. The phone didn't ring once all day. FML

#15421054
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26632) - you deserved it (2800)

On 03/21/2011 at 9:03pm - work - by letmeinplease - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to clock in at work, only to have the clock tell me I "wasn't scheduled", so I asked my boss what was going on. Turns out I was fired, and this was her way of avoiding conflict. FML

#15416414
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35120) - you deserved it (2769)

On 03/21/2011 at 3:01pm - work - by anonymous - United States

Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML

#15403907
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30003) - you deserved it (15083)

On 03/20/2011 at 7:29pm - work - by AwkwardWaitress (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was late for the bus. I chased after it for 3 blocks until I realized that the bus driver was laughing at me trying to catch her. FML

#15393060
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32579) - you deserved it (8317)

On 03/20/2011 at 1:08am - work - by Matt - United States (Michigan)

Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML

#15366676
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34197) - you deserved it (6841)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by B-rent - United States

Today, I finished and turned in the last of the seventeen major projects for the company I work for. As I was walking out of my bosses office, I hear her ask her assistant "She finished everything we didn't want to do, can we fire her now?" FML

#15356107
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39052) - you deserved it (2956)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:37pm - work - by inpuredeceit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from the office telling me I was fired. When I asked why, my boss explained my mother called and told him I was in a "weak mental state." She thought she was helping me get off for my birthday. Now I have no job. FML

#15350541
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39216) - you deserved it (3312)

On 03/17/2011 at 10:43am - work - by jezebel (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I put signs up in the lifts at work with my name and desk phone number as the contact in case the lifts break down. I work in IT so there are hundreds of men in the building. Someone has already drawn a very wonky heart next to my name. FML

#15349045
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21793) - you deserved it (5147)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:00am - work - by Peppermint (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17481) - you deserved it (50484)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got into a bad car accident, where I got severe whiplash, swollen knees, and cuts everywhere. I called my boss to let him know I wouldn't be able to make it in and he fired me for being 'not dependable'. FML

#15325313
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39360) - you deserved it (3521)

On 03/15/2011 at 6:57pm - work - by in pain -

Today, I was fired from the trucking company I work for, due to numerous complaints about my reckless driving. I don't even do driving work there, but my ex keeps calling in to report me, and my boss wanted the calls to stop. FML

#15285580
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39869) - you deserved it (3239)

On 03/12/2011 at 6:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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