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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML

#6016625
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25911) - you deserved it (2656)

On 10/26/2009 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that I needed to reapply for my job in order to have a chance at keeping it. The applications closed yesterday. FML

#6009884
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24818) - you deserved it (5345)

On 10/26/2009 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out of the outlet and it hit me in the face cutting both my top and bottom lip. FML

#5980515
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9141) - you deserved it (30812)

On 10/24/2009 at 8:41pm - work - by Clutz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

#5955590
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24096) - you deserved it (7542)

On 10/23/2009 at 4:56am - work - by BoogieCandy. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

#5953871
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10137) - you deserved it (36505)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:01am - work - by E.S. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I played with the white dust on the counter at work for the last time. After a couple of weeks of arriving to a thin coating of dust over the counter, and drawing in it, piling it up and other such fun things, I met the guy who now does the earlier shift. He has a huge, dandruffy beard. FML

#5946410
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30135) - you deserved it (11652)

On 10/22/2009 at 5:24pm - work - by JustEwww (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got chewed out at work when my supervisor showed up, because my coworkers told my supervisor they couldn't find me for an hour and a half. Why couldn't they find me? Because they'd left to go get coffee. FML

#5924577
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28773) - you deserved it (1793)

On 10/21/2009 at 1:40am - work - by wrongtarget (man) - United States

Today, my boss was angry at me because I had filed a complaint about him refusing to change our phone service to something more reliable. Later, a customer called him and said I had hung up on him. I got fired. I didn't hang up on the customer, the phone service just dropped the call. FML

#5914155
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36217) - you deserved it (2299)

On 10/20/2009 at 3:35pm - work - by ShayanFCB (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up at 3am after 2 hours sleep to get to my 7.40am interview with the Air Force. I went through a full medical check, a psych test and an interview with military personnel, was there for 7 hours with no food and only water to drink, only to be told I wasn't suited to the position I applied for. FML

Today, I walked into work, and the first question my boss asks me is "Are those your pajamas?" I was wearing my favorite outfit. FML

#5905706
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25551) - you deserved it (8678)

On 10/19/2009 at 10:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I started my first day at work, I've been unemployed for a while and am in college, so naturally I have no money. At the end of my shift, I ask what we do with the extra bread, and they tell me to throw it away. Being poor and hungry, I decide to take the bread home. I got fired for stealing. FML

#5892629
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43406) - you deserved it (8903)

On 10/19/2009 at 4:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML

#5891401
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33089) - you deserved it (3650)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:08am - work - by worldsbestjobgonebad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was informed by my manager at work that there had been an 'accident' in the playground. I then had to crawl through tunnels designed for 5 year olds, to a tiny playroom with no fresh air, and clean up a stupid kid's pee and crap. FML

#5889597
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32114) - you deserved it (2919)

On 10/19/2009 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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