Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, was my first day as a bouncer. I was a bit late and didn't meet all the staff. Later that night, some fairly drunk guy was trying to force his way in, I told him we were at capacity and that he would have to wait. He kept trying and I ended up pushing him to the floor. He was the owner. FML

#5519720
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36070) - you deserved it (12231)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:11am - work - by Baboosh (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, was my first day at my new job in a shop. 10 minutes after my first customer leaves I realize she managed to steal $200 worth of merchandise while she had me getting stuff for her from the back room. FML

#5489244
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31855) - you deserved it (7150)

On 09/26/2009 at 5:23pm - work - by bzygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first day off in weeks. I was excited about getting to sleep in, until my boss called me at 6:30 in the morning to remind me I didn't have to come into work. Thanks. FML

#5482829
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35106) - you deserved it (2794)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by NoSleep (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I called my boss to let her know that I was suffering from severe depression and that my doctor suggested I take a month's leave. Her response: "Glad you are getting help, however we can't hold your job. No need to come to the office, we'll mail your stuff to you." FML

#5480161
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33979) - you deserved it (5583)

On 09/26/2009 at 3:01am - work - by zawbentley - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was offered a position as a school crossing guard. I have a $200,000 degree in Economics from a top 20 University and was offered a position to hold a stop sign and wear a reflective vest. I was tempted to accept. FML

#5465384
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35175) - you deserved it (6270)

On 09/25/2009 at 12:11pm - work - by UnemployedGrad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a phone call for a interview at Target at 4:30 pm. I got super excited, so I got dressed up and headed over there. I tell the manager that I am there for my interview. He doesn't know what I'm talking about. My friends had prank called me. FML

#5454109
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35212) - you deserved it (3040)

On 09/24/2009 at 8:11pm - work - by Pho_Rheal (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML

#5451406
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48499) - you deserved it (4232)

On 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm - work - by ewewew (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was offered to attend a Buddhist ceremony by one of my regular customers. Not wanting to offend the couple, I made an excuse about have a project for oceanography. Surprise, the husband is an oceanographer and wants to help me with my imaginary project. Karma much? FML

#5443877
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9103) - you deserved it (44881)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - work - by whatproject (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, an injured guest stopped at the front desk of the hotel and raved about my kindness and 'commitment to customer service'. He told my boss about how I'd gone to the ice machine and personally delivered a bag of ice for his injured knee. Guess who got written up for leaving the front desk? FML

Today, I went into work. After three years of working 55 hours a week they fire me by putting the contents of my locker at the front door that said "if not picked up by 10:00 am stuff will be donated." I work the night shift. I just lost three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, $60 and my job. FML

#5413535
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39040) - you deserved it (2256)

On 09/22/2009 at 1:08pm - work - by unemployed (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized I had misspelled "Education" on all the resumes I've been submitting. FML

#5412403
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9796) - you deserved it (47552)

On 09/22/2009 at 10:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to cover for my coworker who didn't turn up for work. He is always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again so I said to my colleagues "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML

#5403982
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39972) - you deserved it (12575)

On 09/21/2009 at 10:06pm - work - by mcdeez (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got a call from a prominent orchestra asking me to play with them. They were especially interested because I'm still in high school. I called to accept only to find out that my mother had already declined the offer for me because I "only" have a 3.7. FML

#5403553
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41921) - you deserved it (2389)

On 09/21/2009 at 9:50pm - work - by bass (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: