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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I showed up at work and a coworker pointed a gun at me. After twisting his arm and leveling his face into the wall, I found out it was a lighter. Now I might lose my job over his stupid joke. FML

Today, after running late for work, my boss called me into his office and asked me why I was wearing a uniform shirt that said Amanda. My name is Rob. Amanda is my fiancé, who works for the same organization at a different location. Employees are prohibited from dating each other. FML

Today, I got a raise. A 10 cent raise. I have worked at my job for over 3 years. I now make 20 cents more an hour than people that have only worked there 3 minutes. FML

#4586443
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38816) - you deserved it (3495)

On 08/16/2009 at 11:19pm - work - by fmjob (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while working as a parking booth attendant I decided to be nice and offer a woman free parking. I said, "give me a high five and I'll give you free parking since I already did the paper work." She said, "I'd rather pay," with a really disgusted look. I also had to redo the paper work. FML

#4533518
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38557) - you deserved it (7577)

On 08/14/2009 at 8:19pm - work - by ParkingGuy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

#4525349
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37810) - you deserved it (5773)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, while working at Starbucks, a customer spilled her drink all over the counter. After I cleaned up her spill and remade the drink (for free), she exclaimed "Thanks! I should really tip you!" Then she turned around, walked directly past the tip jar, and left the store. FML

#4511734
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42858) - you deserved it (2998)

On 08/13/2009 at 9:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the school I work at, to set up my new classroom. I'm 5'1" and I was carrying a backpack full of fun educational posters. I also have a new boss. When we met for the first time he was yelling at me because "there were no students allowed in here yet." FML

#4511131
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43877) - you deserved it (2551)

On 08/13/2009 at 9:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML

#4508324
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85946) - you deserved it (2875)

On 08/13/2009 at 7:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I rented a car that has a smart key. The proximity of the key determines if the doors will unlock. I went to a meeting and returned to the car with the trunk popped open and all my luggage gone. The rental company decided to store a spare key in the glovebox for safe keeping. FML

#4494514
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41032) - you deserved it (2783)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:42am - work - by NoKeyNoCar - United States (California)

Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML

#4486417
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38779) - you deserved it (3842)

On 08/12/2009 at 9:47pm - work - by Jobless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was volunteering at the library. A kid came up and asked me to help him peel the back off his sticker. It took me so long the kid left. Determined, I still tried to peel it off. Fifteen minutes later, the librarian came over, looked once at it, and told me it wasn't a sticker. FML

#4484450
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9795) - you deserved it (37160)

On 08/12/2009 at 8:34pm - work - by librarygirl (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I ran sound for my ex's wedding rehearsal since I was the only sound tech in town. Her dad was late for the rehearsal, so the pastor had me to walk her down the aisle. FML

#4482607
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49336) - you deserved it (3421)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:14pm - work - by d.stack (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. An SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing, lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML

#4459199
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61948) - you deserved it (2558)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:58pm - work - by doctorchick (woman) - United States (California)



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