Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

#21384902
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26384) - you deserved it (2287)

On 03/31/2015 at 7:32pm - work - by DrunkParents - United States (Montana)

Today, I was fired from job as a personal trainer. Why? Because I was working out with a friend while off-duty. Apparently, working out with a friend on a day off means I am training them under the table. FML

#21384707
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31397) - you deserved it (2569)

On 03/31/2015 at 12:47pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, and pretty much every day, my co-worker takes off her shoes while working. The smell of her feet makes me dizzy. I don't know if she's oblivious to the fact that her feet stink, or she just doesn't care. It's affecting the quality of my work. FML

#21384560
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26611) - you deserved it (2778)

On 03/31/2015 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, it was my first day working as a dental assistant, leaving me in charge of all cleaning. The first patient was so scared, he peed his pants. Which might have been understandable if he hadn't been a fully grown man. FML

#21384513
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24322) - you deserved it (2085)

On 03/30/2015 at 11:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

#21384262
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28983) - you deserved it (1992)

On 03/30/2015 at 4:46pm - work - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a teenage girl with a selfie stick came into my workplace. She knocked down multiple displays while trying to take pictures, before leaving without making a purchase. I had to clean it all up. FML

#21383983
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31452) - you deserved it (2278)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after recently quitting a terrible job which made me miserable, I went to my first work meeting at my new job. I was excited to start fresh and meet my new coworkers. Instead, I met my boyfriend's extremely jealous ex-girlfriend. She didn't look excited to see me. FML

#21383954
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28839) - you deserved it (2037)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:06am - work - by kitkat3308 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my best friend went to my boss and offered to do my job for half the pay. FML

#21383169
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28881) - you deserved it (2280)

On 03/28/2015 at 7:44pm - work - by Haggis300 - Australia

Today, while at work, a customer refused to speak louder, despite me asking her to do it several times. As a result, I took her order incorrectly. The customer then finally decided to raise her voice, but only to yell at me about my poor listening skills. FML

#21382737
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29117) - you deserved it (2129)

On 03/28/2015 at 12:16am - work - by people suck - United States (California)

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

#21382528
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24334) - you deserved it (5330)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:19pm - work - by screwedupfuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

#21382277
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29470) - you deserved it (3820)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:51am - work - by mareecasellafml (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had an interview for an office job. As a requirement, I had to show up dressed for the job. My friend has worked there for years and told me it was casual dress. I wore jeans and a blouse. Everyone else had on business suits. Obviously my friend doesn't know what casual means. FML

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39266) - you deserved it (3380)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: