Today, I nearly got written up for "publicly humiliating" a coworker. All because I left a note in the restroom asking whoever keeps peeing all over the floor to please be considerate of other people. FML

by sickofthisshit / 07/02/2016 at 12:43pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, while updating my résumé, I noticed that in my list of achievements it said "Torturing middle school students". I meant "tutoring", but I guess this explains why I'm still unemployed a year after I started looking for a job. FML

by fuckel4 / 07/01/2016 at 4:12pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, my boss threw me out of her office during a conference call for daring to correct her. The client fired the company because she subsequently got all the information on the call wrong, and plainly had no idea what was going on. From all the screaming, this is now all my fault. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2016 at 4:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I have put in many job applications and had many interviews for a variety of positions all of which I am highly qualified for. Today, I heard back from all but one that I am overqualified. Welcome to Walmart. FML

by collegekidproblems / 06/30/2016 at 3:35pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I have a job but can't be hired due to technical issues. This means that I'm technically not getting paid yet for the work I do. FML

Today, it was my last day at my job. My team made a little party for me so they could wish me well and say goodbye, but when it came time for my manager to give a little speech, she couldn't even remember my name. I've been working there for two years. FML

by Raset24 / 06/30/2016 at 1:40pm / Work

Today, at my new job, a coworker offered to help me mop the floors since she wasn't busy. I ended up getting written up by my boss for supposedly being too lazy and making other people finish my work. FML

by buggyluv / 06/30/2016 at 11:50am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I earned the nickname of "Harry Potter" for all the wrong reasons. I got locked in a storage cupboard for most of my shift, and couldn't get out. FML

by You're Not a Wizard / 06/30/2016 at 8:29am / Work

Today, I went out for drinks to mark the end of my current job. I invited all my colleagues to join me so I could say goodbye to them all. I even changed the date to a day that suited more people and the location to a place I knew they all preferred. Only one person showed up. FML

Today, I forgot my headphones at home. When I got to work I found out that today was also the day the band next door had decided to practice their only song for 8 hours. FML

by shit Music / 06/30/2016 at 3:32am / Slovenia (Ljubljana) / Work

Today, I went to work using the train. While on the train, I fell asleep. I woke up 130km late. FML

by Code_Skull / 06/30/2016 at 2:53am / Netherlands (Zeeland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after finishing a two-day course for work, I was informed that the days used will either be unpaid or used up as holidays, as it was for improvement of myself and not the company. They put me on the course without my knowledge until the weekend before. FML

by YOUNG1441 / 06/29/2016 at 5:50pm / United Kingdom (Northumberland) / Work

Today, at my job as a sailing instructor, I had to stop kids from getting their asses sucked by a pool filter. FML

by please don't get the succ / 06/29/2016 at 2:21pm / United States (California) / Work