Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my boss was angry at me because I had filed a complaint about him refusing to change our phone service to something more reliable. Later, a customer called him and said I had hung up on him. I got fired. I didn't hang up on the customer, the phone service just dropped the call. FML

#5914155
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36147) - you deserved it (2289)

On 10/20/2009 at 3:35pm - work - by ShayanFCB (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up at 3am after 2 hours sleep to get to my 7.40am interview with the Air Force. I went through a full medical check, a psych test and an interview with military personnel, was there for 7 hours with no food and only water to drink, only to be told I wasn't suited to the position I applied for. FML

Today, I walked into work, and the first question my boss asks me is "Are those your pajamas?" I was wearing my favorite outfit. FML

#5905706
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25483) - you deserved it (8674)

On 10/19/2009 at 10:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I started my first day at work, I've been unemployed for a while and am in college, so naturally I have no money. At the end of my shift, I ask what we do with the extra bread, and they tell me to throw it away. Being poor and hungry, I decide to take the bread home. I got fired for stealing. FML

#5892629
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43341) - you deserved it (8892)

On 10/19/2009 at 4:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML

#5891401
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33032) - you deserved it (3648)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:08am - work - by worldsbestjobgonebad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was informed by my manager at work that there had been an 'accident' in the playground. I then had to crawl through tunnels designed for 5 year olds, to a tiny playroom with no fresh air, and clean up a stupid kid's pee and crap. FML

#5889597
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32055) - you deserved it (2911)

On 10/19/2009 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work this woman came up to my counter and handed me gold top covered in gold sequins. I like to chat with the customers sometimes at work so I got all excited and said "Ooh! You shopping for Halloween?" She gave me the biggest death stare. Turns out she wasn't shopping for Halloween. FML

#5886386
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19311) - you deserved it (15242)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:38pm - work - by moduschic (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML

#5876568
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9049) - you deserved it (48390)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:39am - work - by nick (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML

#5873619
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39694) - you deserved it (1908)

On 10/18/2009 at 12:06am - work - by booste (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my first day at the fire station. Naturally, we all went out and got lunch together. I normally don't handle spicy food well, but sucked it up. About ten minutes after we finished, I got up to do rookie duties when someone slapped me in the back. I forcefully vomited all over my new Lieutenant. FML

#5862404
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28116) - you deserved it (4503)

On 10/17/2009 at 4:20am - work - by PukinFireman (man) - United States

Today, I left work at 11pm. It was cold and dark, and I was anxious to get home, so I cut across some soccer fields to get to my car. About halfway across, the sprinklers came on. FML

#5860815
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23919) - you deserved it (7941)

On 10/17/2009 at 1:18am - work - by legotron (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was the first day of fall break from college, and I was really excited to sleep in and relax the entire weekend. Apparently my boss caught wind of my happiness and scheduled me 8am-2pm each day of break, "seeing how I don't have anything else to do." FML

#5851790
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27645) - you deserved it (3318)

On 10/16/2009 at 2:22pm - work - by cbrocks (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the power went out at work. As everyone left the building to go home, the owner came in to inform me that, since the phones were on a battery back up, I would be staying to man them. The phones rang 2 times in the 4 hours I sat in the dark by myself. Both times were telemarketers. FML

#5851329
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (1871)

On 10/16/2009 at 1:27pm - work - by devakii (woman) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: