Today, I realized that the redneck, hick, abusive family that my co-workers always joke about is my family. FML

by anon / 10/11/2011 at 7:52am / United States / Work

Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML

by Anony-moose / 10/11/2011 at 5:43am / United States / Work

Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML

by melikeyturtles / 10/10/2011 at 12:13am / United States / Work

Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML

by Username / 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML

by ab / 10/09/2011 at 1:11am / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML

by Laura / 10/08/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Work

Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML

by Lucas79 / 10/07/2011 at 9:23pm / Australia / Work

Today, I got my first job after having spent months looking, and graduating college in the meantime. I got it based on my pre-college qualifications. FML

by jdmarine83 / 10/07/2011 at 3:32pm / United States / Work

Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML

by Dr.Octopus454 / 10/07/2011 at 10:58am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Work

Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML

by bdjsbskl / 10/07/2011 at 1:55am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I was suspended from work. Some lady went to the manager and told them that I was stalking her, all because I would kindly greet her everyday at the grocery store. I'm the cashier. FML

by hazlanz216 / 10/06/2011 at 6:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 4:35pm / United States / Work

Today, at work, I refused a customer a refund because there was nothing wrong with the item, and she didn't have the packaging. I then watched as she and her son rummaged through a public bin for the packaging. When I refused her again, she called me a "fucking idiot". FML

by mando / 10/06/2011 at 11:14am / Australia / Work