Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML

#13544893
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45549) - you deserved it (2498)

On 10/22/2010 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year old guy. My boss is a 50 year old woman. I desperately need this job. FML

#13537092
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33137) - you deserved it (3541)

On 10/21/2010 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

#13525218
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26617) - you deserved it (3134)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:08pm - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, for the second time in 5 months I was recognized for my hard work, sincerity and all the adjectives that they use to describe good employees. What was my reward? A piece of chocolate. FML

#13523513
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21679) - you deserved it (4147)

On 10/20/2010 at 10:33am - work - by rewarded (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML

#13521400
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27945) - you deserved it (12325)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:38am - work - by anonymous - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML

#13518808
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30419) - you deserved it (3759)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by engineerdude91 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML

#13510751
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10763) - you deserved it (31778)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:24am - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had just finished re-completing all my assignments because I had lost my USB last week. I reached into my pocket for gum, instead I found the USB that I had apparently lost. I spent my weekend alone rather than spending time with my friends. I don't have another weekend off for a month. FML

#13505156
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11754) - you deserved it (26933)

On 10/18/2010 at 10:40pm - work - by haayloo (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

#13496892
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9261) - you deserved it (31736)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:44am - work - by sofakingweetodit - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML

#13496435
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23886) - you deserved it (4824)

On 10/18/2010 at 7:27am - work - by ktwithaq (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at my new job, I was answering the phone and said "Hello Cafe Thirty, how may I help you?" The man on the other line said "Don't you mean Old Town Cafe?" Cafe Thirty was my old job. I now work at Old Town Cafe. The man on the other line was my boss. FML

#13493861
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12720) - you deserved it (24003)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:39am - work - by andibartle - United States (Oregon)

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

#13466865
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29236) - you deserved it (3012)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:41am - work - by hannahj88 - Australia

Today, at work, I was trying to repeat an order back to this guy, when his drunk girlfriend started to interrupt me. Whenever I would open my mouth, she would say "Blah blah blah." Literally. Eventually, I gave up. I got his order wrong, and got yelled at by my manager for not repeating his order. FML

#13456460
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27091) - you deserved it (2727)

On 10/15/2010 at 6:52am - work - by ziatenaj - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: