Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML

by CathyM / 09/27/2011 at 1:18am / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm / United States / Work

Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML

by gotanewmouse / 09/26/2011 at 6:37am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML

by SakuraBreeze / 09/26/2011 at 1:18am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, my mother followed me to work to see what I got up to. I'm a fitness instructor in a ground floor gym that has big windows overlooking the street. She stood outside and waved at me for half an hour, while I tried to concentrate on teaching a visibly amused class. FML

by Username / 09/26/2011 at 12:28am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I spilled hot coffee all over this man at work. I tried apologizing and saying it was an accident, but he then complained, which resulted in me being unemployed. The man I spilled coffee on was my uncle. FML

by Chan / 09/25/2011 at 9:57pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, my father was telling me that one of the benefits about his job was that the family could get discounts, then asked if I'd like some. My dad's a plastic surgeon. FML

by ouch. / 09/25/2011 at 12:17am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, like every day, I walked into my office and was greeted by the smell of shit wafting through the air. My lactose intolerant, diabetic coworker won't stop eating Whataburger and milkshakes for breakfast, no matter what his body tells him. FML

by lpspann87 / 09/24/2011 at 5:34pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML

by anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 11:22am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML

by Cashier / 09/24/2011 at 2:21am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I called in sick to work for a second day. After months of my boss trying to get me sacked by spreading vicious rumors about me, taunting me into retaliating, and generally making my life a living hell, he finally got his chance. He sent me a text saying, "yeh dont bother son ure fuckin fired." FML

by sick of life / 09/23/2011 at 10:48am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, the new office IT guy figured the best way to get the virus off my computer was to wipe my entire hard drive. He was kind enough to back my data up and restore everything from the backups. Including the virus. FML

by Soopa-Genius / 09/22/2011 at 8:06am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I found out that the new management position I'm supposed to start in two days was delayed for a month and a half. I already quit my current job and called my boss gay. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 1:20am / United States (Florida) / Work