Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

#16450721
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16808) - you deserved it (46481)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, while at work, a rather large woman came in and ordered a cheeseburger. When asking if she would like to supersize it, she took her purse, smacked me, and told me she wasn't fat, and how rude I was for calling her supersized. I was just doing my job. FML

#16430748
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43358) - you deserved it (4578)

On 05/31/2011 at 2:49am - work - by Me - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was the last day of school. My students shared what they thought of me. Expecting to hear wonderful things, all of their complaints can be summed up in a few words: I'm a liar, a killer of dreams, I need to grow up, and I was a big disappointment to them. I'm a first-year teacher. FML

#16425645
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32665) - you deserved it (14114)

On 05/30/2011 at 9:59pm - work - by sashimieater - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

#16408581
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11819) - you deserved it (47589)

On 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm - work - by milkymoo (woman) - Cyprus

Today, I got so stressed about my upcoming final exams that, in the silent section of the library, I had a panic attack and almost passed out. No one helped me. 3 people shushed me. FML

#16384054
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34659) - you deserved it (9157)

On 05/28/2011 at 8:20am - work - by justletitbeover (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I finally get to go home after a 16 day training event in Colorado. The plane has been sitting in the runway for over three hours due to lightning storms and we're not allowed to leave. We've spent more time on the ground waiting than the flight itself would take. FML

#16375097
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27900) - you deserved it (3133)

On 05/27/2011 at 5:13pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, I went to hand in a job application, and the supervisor wanted to ask me a few questions. I was nervous so I kept touching the fabric on a nearby display table. Only after I left did my friend tell me it was a pantie display, and that I was fondling underwear. FML

#16369010
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28266) - you deserved it (8789)

On 05/27/2011 at 4:45am - work - by colebear - United States

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

#16367942
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37482) - you deserved it (3027)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He started bawling before I even brought out the needle. I tried to get him calm down. Then he grabbed the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML

#16365473
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33042) - you deserved it (3090)

On 05/26/2011 at 11:05pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at work, nonchalantly spinning my keys around my finger when they flew off and hit a glass cabinet. Broken glass showered passing customers. I don't think I'll have a job to go to tomorrow. FML

#16359885
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24933) - you deserved it (19949)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:26pm - work - by kernewek (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I went to hand in a resume. The secretary happened to be a girl I liked in high school. When leaving, I shook hands with the employer, waved goodbye to the girl, turned around and walked straight into a glass wall. FML

#16353069
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34327) - you deserved it (6319)

On 05/26/2011 at 2:00am - work - by Fred (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was texting at work when my manager walked in. I quickly dropped my phone in the garbage to avoid trouble. Since I was working so hard, she decided to do me a favor and throw the trash out for me. FML

#16352403
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10469) - you deserved it (53927)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:04am - work - by explosiveBAM - United States

Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered, I asked what the problem was. Someone had shot fireworks at cars in the parking lot and I was a suspect. Why? Ponytails on men apparently look suspicious. FML

#16349458
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32449) - you deserved it (18092)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:10pm - work - by wtffireworks! - United States



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