Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML

by bad luck? / 01/19/2012 at 12:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

by iliterallypoopedmyself / 01/18/2012 at 8:54pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I'm supposed to start my new job as a Crime Scene Tech. Instead, I managed to electrocute myself with my hairdryer. I'll now have to attempt to explain to them that I really am qualified to safely operate an electrostatic lifting device, and other expensive equipment. FML

by Lyn / 01/18/2012 at 6:15am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML

by Sheliton / 01/17/2012 at 8:39pm / United States / Work

Today, I started my new job as a dishwasher, and was very excited since I've been broke for weeks. A few people dined and dashed, apparently for the first time in the restaurant's history. My boss is superstitious. She fired me. FML

by broke / 01/17/2012 at 11:08am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my parents want me to become a lawyer, all because our family members keep getting into feuds and court cases. I'm a successful developer, and run my own company. FML

by me_the_maniak / 01/12/2012 at 5:14am / India (Maharashtra) / Work

Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML

by lions214 / 01/10/2012 at 8:40pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I told a co-worker to "lighten up, and stop wearing black all the time, it makes you look depressed." I didn't know his father had died the week before. FML

by Jim / 01/10/2012 at 8:32pm / Belgium / Work

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

by Needsanewjob / 01/10/2012 at 10:34am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher; I've already given students detention for falling asleep in class this year. FML

by nevasurprised / 01/10/2012 at 9:50am / Germany / Work

Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML

by jumbledgirl / 01/10/2012 at 12:25am / United States / Work

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm / United States / Work