Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I found out a guy I work with has an eye twitch. I thought he was just a winker. I have been winking back all week. He either thinks I'm an asshole or am trying to seduce him. FML

#14105864
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12818) - you deserved it (21344)

On 12/06/2010 at 9:38am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was directing a video shoot of a big Christmas show with 750 people attending. After the first half of the show recorded; during intermission, I accidentally deleted the show as people were signing up to buy the DVD. FML

#14102219
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21865) - you deserved it (15277)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:00am - work - by kermudgen - United States

Today, a customer tried to pay for a $1.55 cup of coffee with a gift card, but he came up a dollar short. He let another customer through while he fumbled in his pocket for money. I later noticed a dollar had disappeared from my tip jar. FML

#14095339
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27009) - you deserved it (3635)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:36pm - work - by barista (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss finally pronounced my name correctly. My name was then followed by the words "You're fired." FML

#14074861
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (2322)

On 12/03/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got fired from the job I'd had for eleven years for going onto Facebook while on the clock. When I got home, I saw that my boss had updated his status, from work, to "Finally fired that bitch." FML

#14070103
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33668) - you deserved it (9307)

On 12/03/2010 at 9:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I told my students that I would be taking a few weeks off because a member of my family is very ill. They all cheered. FML

#14046266
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25266) - you deserved it (8925)

On 12/01/2010 at 9:14am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML

#14043975
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33925) - you deserved it (3438)

On 12/01/2010 at 1:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq

Today, a customer at the store I work at asked me what kind of cake I would suggest for her husband's 50th birthday. I laughed and showed her the Grim Reaper cake. She burst into tears and explained that he has cancer. FML

#14041933
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14693) - you deserved it (58852)

On 11/30/2010 at 10:39pm - work - by Username -

Today, at the coffee shop where I work, my supervisor smelled "something weird, like sulfur." I spent the next ten minutes pretending to look for the source of the smell with her, rather than admit that it had come from me. FML

#14035963
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7969) - you deserved it (25925)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:49pm - work - by oopsididitagain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at work, I cringed as I noticed my caveman colleague frantically digging into his nose and then continuing the use of his computer. I work in IT support and will be rebuilding his computer and reinstalling all his applications in 30 minutes time. FML

#14034046
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20779) - you deserved it (1979)

On 11/30/2010 at 9:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

#14033454
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32437) - you deserved it (2211)

On 11/30/2010 at 6:30am - work - by Tony -

Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

#14029535
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25449) - you deserved it (6416)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

#14021312
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25169) - you deserved it (5451)

On 11/29/2010 at 5:46am - work - by figgy - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: