Today, I fell asleep during a job interview as it was taking place over the phone. FML

by jobless / 04/30/2012 at 9:28am / United States / Work

Today, while at work as a cashier, I tried to be sweet and ID an elderly man buying a bottle of wine. He responded by calling me a "blind-ass bitch" and calling my manager for "harassing" him. FML

by zomg / 04/30/2012 at 5:24am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was sent to a customer's house to switch out a washing machine. My boss had assured me that everything I'd need was already in the truck. Halfway there, I ran out of gas and I realized I didn't have the gas card. My boss says it's my fault. FML

by wowzers0889 / 04/28/2012 at 5:21pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I had to explain to a customer how our hotel charged his card even though he has never stayed with us. Apparently his wife is a regular customer. I can't help but feel like a home-wrecker. FML

by Steve / 04/28/2012 at 9:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not by any sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

by Bullocks / 04/27/2012 at 1:49am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

by NoPrivacy / 04/26/2012 at 6:44am / United States / Work

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

by A Henderson / 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm / United States / Work

Today, I've now received my 73rd email in two days about my masters group project on policy recommendations for security reform. One group member has helpfully rewritten everything, and our project is now titled "Zeus's Earthly Kingdom." It's due today. FML

by IHateGroupProjects / 04/25/2012 at 9:25am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

by foshizzle / 04/25/2012 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML

by Mug / 04/24/2012 at 4:15pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

by xharmonyx / 04/24/2012 at 4:29am / United States / Work

Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2012 at 10:22pm / United States / Work

Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2012 at 12:46am / United States (Nevada) / Work