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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML

#6550671
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11698) - you deserved it (29701)

On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was the only employee at a video store where I work when it got robbed. After crying, shaking and spending two hours and dealing with the police, my boss called and told me it was good experience and I would know what to do next time, then made me finish my shift, the night shift, alone. FML

#6550040
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38530) - you deserved it (2819)

On 12/01/2009 at 11:17am - work - by HP_22 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML

#6479352
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28250) - you deserved it (2334)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Fmyoffice (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I was walking into the building I hoped to work in someday with my resume, ready to be interviewed. As I walked through the doors I had to sneeze, so lifted my hands and sneezed a huge bloody booger right in the middle of the cover page. Turns out future employers don't like that. FML

#6447177
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21684) - you deserved it (6588)

On 11/25/2009 at 3:25pm - work - by ZombieLicker (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at work, working on a new play. In the final dress rehearsal, I heard some of the crew laughing so I looked down at the very revealing costume to see that my left testicle was hanging out. FML

#6443277
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31084) - you deserved it (7092)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:45am - work - by youshitme (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was fired by one of my bosses for doing something the other boss told me to do. I work for a family company. Turns out my bosses are going through a divorce and will do anything to prove the other wrong. FML

#6440227
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31770) - you deserved it (1567)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:54pm - work - by Anon (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, the company offering the job position that I've been applying for called me up. I wasn't there to answer so they got redirected to my voice mail in which I'm acting like a drunk David Hasselhoff chewing on a cheeseburger. They called me 5 times. FML

#6426419
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5078) - you deserved it (37215)

On 11/23/2009 at 8:47pm - work - by Mr IT - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I finally received a paycheck for the first time in six months. I celebrated by promptly falling down a flight of stairs and losing consciousness. FML

#6422914
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23739) - you deserved it (4543)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:12pm - work - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss called me into her office to tell me I needed to mind my own business and not question everything my newest co-worker does. Yesterday, I stopped the new girl from giving $6,000 to the wrong person. I was fired on the spot. The new girl was promoted into my job. FML

#6400678
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37256) - you deserved it (2517)

On 11/22/2009 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

#6386957
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27370) - you deserved it (2208)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:03am - work - by beckbm23 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was supposed to be payday. Instead, it was the day I found out that, for two weeks, I have been volunteering for Habitat for Humanity, and am not actually employed by a construction company. FML

#6386124
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9204) - you deserved it (36415)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:59pm - work - by Masonlee89 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML

#6378315
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8886) - you deserved it (34549)

On 11/20/2009 at 8:56am - work - by HellaBomber91 (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, at work, my boss said something that I didn't catch. I went to take a leash off a dog, (I'm a groomer's assistant) and looked at my boss and said "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML

#6377475
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16155) - you deserved it (4765)

On 11/20/2009 at 3:29am - work - by DamnDogs (woman) - United States (California)



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