Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML

#7588256
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11199) - you deserved it (24458)

On 01/26/2010 at 11:13am - work - by Kylie (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I've been unemployed for a year. For the last six months I had been trying for a good paying job at a great company, who kept saying they would hire me when the economy improves. Three weeks ago I gave up and moved 2 hours away. Guess who just called to finally offer me a job. FML

Today, I broke my dominant hand. My teacher insists we hand-write our essays. I called and asked if it was okay for me to type up the essays. She said no. I have two essays due tomorrow, which count for half my grade. FML

#7545695
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30156) - you deserved it (3118)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, somebody stopped by the front desk at the hotel I work at to report a vehicle had its headlights on. I wrote down the info, including the plate. Hours later, after my shift was over, I finally realized that it was MY vehicle. The battery was dead. FML

#7492658
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6142) - you deserved it (36540)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:37am - work - by HotelClerk (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at work I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say "have a nice night." What I actually said was "have a nice flow". FML

#7492497
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9308) - you deserved it (29331)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:26am - work - by iluvjenknee (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm a cashier in a grocery store. The visiting regional manager tore me a new one for being lazy. His reason? After working a double shift with no break, I decided to sit down for a minute when things got slow. FML

#7470937
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27492) - you deserved it (2336)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:33am - work - by Bob (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got yelled at by one of my bosses. The reason? I was yawning. I work at Starbucks. Apparently I wasn't 'promoting' correctly. FML

#7467721
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23638) - you deserved it (4104)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:29am - work - by nichaneely (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that I was being laid off via an email that wasn't even spell checked. FML

#7465269
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25595) - you deserved it (1969)

On 01/20/2010 at 10:31pm - work - by TheoBuckner (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

#7458972
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9570) - you deserved it (28093)

On 01/20/2010 at 5:38pm - work - by PentiumBawls8 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I lost my job to a girl that graduated with the same bachelor's degree from the same college as me. She also got a master's in an unrelated field. I've been working there 7 months, and her master's in maths apparently makes her a better athletic trainer than me. FML

#7454519
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25522) - you deserved it (3732)

On 01/20/2010 at 10:59am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that my supervisor has been submitting completed projects to our manager on time for everyone on the team but me. She has been deliberately making it appear as though I am weeks behind on my projects, when in reality I am one of the first ones done every month. FML

#7453397
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31122) - you deserved it (1821)

On 01/20/2010 at 8:31am - work - by superscrewed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my job because I was doing my work too quickly, getting too much done and the supervisor was afraid I was bored. I have only been here for 3 weeks and already had the best stats on the team. FML

#7445889
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28853) - you deserved it (1963)

On 01/19/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent my boss a link to a website I thought would answer a simple question she'd asked. Turns out, yes, the site did answer her question, but it also had some very suggestive ads on it. Apparently I'm the only person in the office who uses adblock. FML

#7437531
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23601) - you deserved it (2492)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: