Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML

#17367681
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13008) - you deserved it (24158)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:47pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, I arrived in Africa to start my new job. I agreed to come to a city with little to no electricity, and poor water for triple the money I was making in Canada. I just realized my boss and I negotiated in two completely different currencies, and I'm now making half of what I used to. FML

#17364992
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25214) - you deserved it (39103)

On 08/04/2011 at 7:45am - work - by Depressed (woman) - Sudan

Today, a customer threw his cup of coffee at me screaming that it wasn't hot enough. Well, maybe it wasn't hot enough for him, but it was sure hot enough to burn me. FML

#17358704
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37491) - you deserved it (2307)

On 08/03/2011 at 7:46pm - work - by localbarista (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while leaving work, I noticed a woman struggling with her wheelchair. Trying to be kind, I grabbed the handles and began to push her. A few moments later, the front wheels caught on something and I ended up dumping her onto the ground. Now my coworkers all think I'm a huge douche. FML

#17348241
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33864) - you deserved it (5397)

On 08/02/2011 at 9:47pm - work - by t2t2sync - United States (New York)

Today, a friend from work threw a party. We each had to dress up as a deceased celebrity. I thought it'd be a perfect time to dress up as Marilyn Monroe. When I arrived to the party, my boss said, "But... Rosie O'Donnell isn't dead." FML

#17347220
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30686) - you deserved it (6416)

On 08/02/2011 at 7:46pm - work - by theonlychildd1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML

#17343796
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30484) - you deserved it (5046)

On 08/02/2011 at 1:47pm - work - by ImScrewed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML

#17338822
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25364) - you deserved it (2580)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:43am - work - by Username - Australia

Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML

#17323826
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10555) - you deserved it (33468)

On 07/31/2011 at 8:07pm - work - by MikeMorin18 - United States

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

#17305922
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39971) - you deserved it (3412)

On 07/30/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Tootie (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

#17297056
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46952) - you deserved it (3673)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)

Today, after being recently laid off at work due to "cutbacks", I went job searching around town. During my drive, I cruised past my old workplace and saw a "now hiring" sign in their window. FML

#17289297
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36124) - you deserved it (3892)

On 07/28/2011 at 6:25pm - work - by jellymoon14 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML

#17284232
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32999) - you deserved it (4962)

On 07/28/2011 at 6:51am - work - by Rick - United States (Indiana)

Today, a bunch of guys at work chased me down a corridor with a Febreze spray for smelling like I'd been "sleeping in a hollowed-out horse's carcass" and having "the personal hygiene of a billy goat." FML

#17283766
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10308) - you deserved it (54685)

On 07/28/2011 at 4:15am - work - by Champion the wonder horse - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: