Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, at the office, after a heavy night of drinking, I had to hear my boss walk around with bells attached to her shoes. She circled the office a total of 34 times today. FML

#7027247
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10104) - you deserved it (24174)

On 12/30/2009 at 1:08am - work - by bells - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my reward for topping three of the four employee performance charts was a paycut. FML

#7010601
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23025) - you deserved it (1831)

On 12/29/2009 at 6:42am - work - by Stumanji (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up from an amazing dream. I dreamt that I got a promotion at work and doubled my income, the dream was so great that I tried so hard not to wake up. When I did wake up it was 10 o'clock, two hours late for work I noticed I had a voicemail from my boss. I was fired for being late. FML

#7005842
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11740) - you deserved it (27666)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:01am - work - by mylifesucks22 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I needed to job shadow someone for my winter break career project. Not finding someone to take me along to their job, my mom suggested shadowing my dad. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I went with him. All day I sat and helped him test human poop samples for parasites. Some was diarrhea. FML

#6990979
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25557) - you deserved it (3485)

On 12/28/2009 at 10:14am - work - by kawaiixalice (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband was fired for chatting online for the third time in a month during office hours. Who was he chatting with? Me, telling him to get off the chat programme so he wouldn't lose his job. FML

#6989281
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22691) - you deserved it (11200)

On 12/28/2009 at 5:35am - work - by facepalm (woman) - Singapore

Today, I checked my email after a week of no cell reception or internet while I was stuck at a family holiday cottage. There was an email offering me the RA job I've been trying to get for almost a year, telling me congratulations and to reply by Friday if I accepted. Last Friday. FML

#6960951
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25998) - you deserved it (3081)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:34pm - work - by Humbug (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was working at the Soup Kitchen handing out special christmas dinners to the homeless. At the end of the day I collected my things and went home. It was only then I discovered that my wallet, phone, pager and (for some reason) my glasses has been stolen. FML

#6941652
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25995) - you deserved it (4058)

On 12/25/2009 at 4:21pm - work - by calli (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

#6934352
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7433) - you deserved it (48735)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I invited my boss and his family over for dinner. As usual, I bought his kids Christmas' presents, nothing too fancy though. This year, he had one more that wasn't here last year. So I just pulled something from under the tree to hand him. He opened it on the spot. It was my son's PS3. FML

#6933197
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9675) - you deserved it (45288)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:30am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I work at a debt collections center and I had to call my own father. Merry Christmas. FML

#6931953
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25813) - you deserved it (2272)

On 12/25/2009 at 12:16am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I have to work Christmas Day. There's no public transport running and taxis are triple fare. It'll cost me more getting to work than I'll actually earn during the shift. FML

#6917997
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26091) - you deserved it (1974)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:20am - work - by Barstaff (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

#6902851
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10512) - you deserved it (23692)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the elderly couple next door asked me to cut down a tree in their yard. It turns out they told me to cut down the wrong tree, and I cut down the tree they got married under. They now hate me and tell me they plan to sue me for damage to property. FML

#6897944
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32437) - you deserved it (3635)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:46am - work - by jordigs (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: