Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I interviewed for a job at a pharmaceutical lab. During the interview, I said something about a past work experience that made the interviewers think that I would enjoy doing something similar to that... so they gave me a warehouse job instead. I have a degree in chemistry and biology. FML

#4939837
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27112) - you deserved it (3209)

On 08/30/2009 at 9:56pm - work - by Pissssd (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

#4909892
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33846) - you deserved it (3398)

On 08/29/2009 at 5:02pm - work - by newguy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML

#4865635
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5718) - you deserved it (45838)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm - work - by staringisrude (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a customer brought her kids into the store where I work. I like to make people laugh so being my usual joking self I kidded "Why aren't those kids in school?". She didn't laugh when she said that their house burned down the night before and the kids had no clothes to wear to school. FML

#4807414
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40542) - you deserved it (11011)

On 08/25/2009 at 9:21am - work - by mybad - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML

#4795795
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24020) - you deserved it (6143)

On 08/24/2009 at 9:45pm - work - by Sailorjoe (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, as I was getting into work, I saw a co-worker of mine walking in front of me. We're really good friends and we joke around a lot, so I jokingly whistled at him and slapped his butt. Turns out it wasn't my friend, it was the new guy. Hello, sexual harassment charges. FML

#4751132
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20810) - you deserved it (10800)

On 08/23/2009 at 12:48am - work - by introuble (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my work finally hired someone to replace some leaky pipes at work. I work in the basement by myself, and just as I walk under the newly fixed pipes, I get soaked with water. Apparently it was connected to a toilet. My boss couldn't find a replacement so they made me work covered in piss. FML

#4748586
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24304) - you deserved it (1386)

On 08/22/2009 at 11:29pm - work - by lifestinks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got a report telling me how I had handled a mystery shopper at work. In this report I found out that instead of saying "Thank you" I had said "Have a nice day, take care." This kept me from getting my $150 bonus. FML

#4724946
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39356) - you deserved it (2318)

On 08/22/2009 at 12:43am - work - by elipses (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, everyone in my department got a raise except for me. Last week, I had been the one who asked for a raise for me and my fellow department members. FML

#4698361
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29150) - you deserved it (2194)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:52am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I brought my little sons into work with me. I introduced them to my boss. She said to my shy kids, "You boys don't know me, do you? I'm Janice." The older one lit up and said, "Oh, I know you, mommy complains about you all the time." FML

#4664067
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33355) - you deserved it (11606)

On 08/19/2009 at 8:01pm - work - by SweetFA (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work while washing the dishes I was told to go put some things into the big freezer at the back of the store. While doing so, the door closed behind me, so naturally I pushed it, only to have my wet hands freeze to the door. I yelled to my manager for 10 minutes before help came. FML

#4650145
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37348) - you deserved it (4950)

On 08/19/2009 at 4:44am - work - by ohno. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the gas station I work a lady called wanting to know the "password" and if I was okay. Thinking it was a prank I hung up. A couple of minutes later she called back, this time asking if I could see the cops outside and telling me I'd be alright. I saw four of 'em. I'd hit the silent alarm by accident. FML

#4649548
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11880) - you deserved it (32845)

On 08/19/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Keldar (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML

#4605529
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36158) - you deserved it (20801)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:16pm - work - by vmml97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: