Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML

#17535698
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27620) - you deserved it (2312)

On 08/21/2011 at 3:35am - work - by cakehater - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

#17530831
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26843) - you deserved it (5322)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML

#17529546
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29740) - you deserved it (6251)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:26pm - work - by ChePow (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34371) - you deserved it (5071)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML

#17507560
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33844) - you deserved it (2849)

On 08/18/2011 at 4:45am - work - by Academia (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

#17507228
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11328) - you deserved it (37678)

On 08/18/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML

#17490024
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (10833)

On 08/16/2011 at 12:55pm - work - by secret dancer (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML

#17479997
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15775) - you deserved it (36109)

On 08/15/2011 at 11:55am - work - by rr - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, a customer came in. Since I was behind the counter, I asked if she needed help with anything. I've worked there for five years, and I didn't recognize my own boss. FML

#17476443
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9823) - you deserved it (34144)

On 08/15/2011 at 1:00am - work - by DramaticSigh (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a girl came into my salon to permanently straighten her really long and curly hair. After several long hours, I went to the counter to charge her. She ran out faster than an Olympic runner. FML

#17473722
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40620) - you deserved it (3018)

On 08/14/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by theultimatesalonfail - United States

Today, while working at a McDonald's drive-through, some dicks decided to pull a "fire in the hole" prank. Granted, it has been done to me before, this time was different. These pleasant people decided to use hot coffee. FML

#17446710
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29700) - you deserved it (2458)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:26am - work - by viperplay53 - United States

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

#17443433
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40143) - you deserved it (2602)

On 08/11/2011 at 7:38pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML

#17440698
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32838) - you deserved it (4192)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:58pm - work - by Anonymous - Vietnam (Ha Noi)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: