Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I had a big meeting. Half way through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-worker but I didn't understand what he meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

#7809149
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21484) - you deserved it (4173)

On 02/02/2010 at 6:25am - work - by paul - Sent from mobile version

Today, I accidentally emailed the entire company everyone's salary, sales history, and the names of four people I intended to fire. FML

#7709427
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11538) - you deserved it (43442)

On 01/30/2010 at 2:21pm - work - by Whoopsx99 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML

#7676063
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22272) - you deserved it (4686)

On 01/29/2010 at 3:19pm - work - by ouch (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was caught going on Facebook at work. I was called into my boss' office to be reprimanded, and while he was lecturing me on the importance of staying focussed and the misuse of company property, his computer beeped. It was his Facebook chat notifying him of a new message. FML

#7671025
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30778) - you deserved it (4360)

On 01/29/2010 at 10:33am - work - by boredatwork (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

#7662711
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5929) - you deserved it (26100)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - work - by ke (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

Today, while at work, my boss asked me to clean the bathroom. Someone pooped on the floor and I stepped in it, dropping my manager's keys into the toilet. I then had to clean up my shoe and the floor and put my hand in the toilet to get the keys. FML

#7643965
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28706) - you deserved it (3383)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:12pm - work - by sucksssssss - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss screamed at me for almost an hour because, apparently, I hurt my coworker's feelings when I stopped speaking to her after finding out that she was sleeping with my boyfriend. FML

Today, it's raining at my work. Not outside, inside. Because our building's boiler broke and all the pipes are dripping with condensation. I have to sit at my desk under an umbrella to protect my laptop and desk phone. The HVAC company said, "Don't worry, this is normal." FML

#7589766
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23324) - you deserved it (1774)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:44pm - work - by dripdripdrop (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML

#7588256
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11190) - you deserved it (24437)

On 01/26/2010 at 11:13am - work - by Kylie (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I've been unemployed for a year. For the last six months I had been trying for a good paying job at a great company, who kept saying they would hire me when the economy improves. Three weeks ago I gave up and moved 2 hours away. Guess who just called to finally offer me a job. FML

Today, I broke my dominant hand. My teacher insists we hand-write our essays. I called and asked if it was okay for me to type up the essays. She said no. I have two essays due tomorrow, which count for half my grade. FML

#7545695
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30128) - you deserved it (3118)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, somebody stopped by the front desk at the hotel I work at to report a vehicle had its headlights on. I wrote down the info, including the plate. Hours later, after my shift was over, I finally realized that it was MY vehicle. The battery was dead. FML

#7492658
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6136) - you deserved it (36514)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:37am - work - by HotelClerk (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: