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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34512) - you deserved it (3188)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML

#12097441
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19810) - you deserved it (6088)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:13am - work - by longday (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after work, I peeled a parking ticket off my windshield. It was so hot that the ink from the ticket made a stamp on my windshield. Now I have a permanent reminder staring me in the face wherever I drive. FML

#12081632
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24813) - you deserved it (7301)

On 07/24/2010 at 5:49am - work - by wils (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML

#12042807
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31800) - you deserved it (4458)

On 07/22/2010 at 10:48am - work - by GuardOtto - United States

Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML

#12008337
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12366) - you deserved it (69693)

On 07/20/2010 at 7:08pm - work - by jjjjjjmmmmm92 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while sitting at my desk at work, a co-worker asked for my help. It was only after I had walked over to his desk, bent over, answered his question, and walked back to my stall, that I felt a breeze. My tube top had slid down across my breasts, revealing my bra to the entire office. FML

#12000317
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10853) - you deserved it (39975)

On 07/20/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Lana (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, during an early morning preflight check, I spotted liquid pooling under the aircraft. I rubbed my fingers in it and sniffed. Good news? No dangerous fuel or hydraulic fluid leak. Bad news? My copilot was too lazy to walk back to the hangar to take a leak. FML

#11954418
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33306) - you deserved it (3896)

On 07/18/2010 at 1:02am - work - by Flyboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working at the bar, I was having a flawless night. Every pour was perfect, every shot expertly measured. I saw my manager for the first time that night, turned to greet him, and knocked over a tray of 30 or so glasses. Two remained unbroken. FML

#11945611
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33389) - you deserved it (4914)

On 07/17/2010 at 4:51pm - work - by barman - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out I've been incorrectly sorting thousands of papers for the past two weeks. My boss wanted them sorted by date, but the co-worker who instructed me said to sort them into alphabetical order just to watch me fail. FML

#11927489
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35232) - you deserved it (2922)

On 07/16/2010 at 7:48pm - work - by MSURebel70 (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML

#11867757
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30417) - you deserved it (5550)

On 07/14/2010 at 2:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally filled the lemonade machine with margarita mix that already had the tequila mixed in. It was served to three kids before anyone figured it out. FML

#11861261
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10802) - you deserved it (37371)

On 07/13/2010 at 10:10pm - work - by magnolia (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

#11858705
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50072) - you deserved it (4176)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I slipped on the wet floor at work and sprained my wrist badly. I was carrying the wet floor sign so no one would slip. FML

#11852475
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (6539)

On 07/13/2010 at 2:28pm - work - by babygirllxo - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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