Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I tried to quit my job. My boss just looked at me and said, "No. You can't quit." FML

#7414727
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28567) - you deserved it (6078)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:28am - work - by toolegittoquit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, was my first day at my new job, which requires you to wear a special shirt. Come to find out, they only have medium sized shirts. I am an XL. They demanded I wear the shirt anyway. FML

#7390812
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28835) - you deserved it (8527)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:37am - work - by mikey09 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, whilst working at the supermarket, a man came through my checkout who couldn't open the plastic bags. I thought it would be a laugh to make fun of him because of it, saying "Come on! What's wrong with you?". Turns out he has arthritis. And Parkinson's Disease. He left, more than angry. FML

Today, I was teaching a class and my student pointed out that I used the wrong "your" while writing on the board. FML

#7357250
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5431) - you deserved it (42053)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:39pm - work - by englishfail (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML

#7356848
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5587) - you deserved it (25770)

On 01/15/2010 at 11:50am - work - by Sonic (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11765) - you deserved it (28406)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML

#7336289
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5084) - you deserved it (39678)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:14am - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I added some of my own money to the tip jar in the Subway I work at to make myself look less pathetic. FML

#7333301
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10549) - you deserved it (21147)

On 01/14/2010 at 1:59am - work - by OverweightTeen (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I went on an interview for a job that I had been wanting for months. I thought everything was going great. On my way out, my interviewer asked me to recycle something for him. I agreed. It was my resume. FML

#7324438
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30388) - you deserved it (1834)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spent all day organizing a list of electronic parts for my boss. I found the easiest way was to color problem parts in the spreadsheet red and okay parts green. After I finished at the end of the day, I found out my boss is red-green colorblind. FML

#7297645
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26616) - you deserved it (2991)

On 01/12/2010 at 10:08am - work - by Colormered - France

Today, I thought I'd wear my snow boots so I wouldn't slip on the ice at work. I crashed my car because I can't feel the pedals with my boots on. FML

#7278086
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8129) - you deserved it (27440)

On 01/11/2010 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that a water pipe at my work had burst over the weekend. There is absolutely no water in the building, including the bathrooms. It's a 9 hour day, and I took a laxative this morning before I came in. FML

#7276638
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23590) - you deserved it (9920)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:28am - work - by bs_happens (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was doing my paper round. I got to the last house and thought I had done everything right. I checked my list of houses, and I had done every single one wrong. I went and got all the papers back and delivered them again. That was when I realised I did them right in the first place. FML

#7231970
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9009) - you deserved it (28102)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:14am - work - by Harry (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: