Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, while at work, a man came in wearing a very elaborate cowboy ensemble and went to talk to one of my coworkers. Once he left, I asked her how she knew a gay cowboy. She then explained that he's actually a farmer and her husband of ten years. FML

#9048204
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6314) - you deserved it (32796)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

#9042400
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33687) - you deserved it (6809)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was telling my sister about the stupid sorts of questions I get asked at work. She looked at me and said "I give you five years until you turn into a raging, chain-smoking corporate bitch." My mom agreed. FML

#9031003
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19059) - you deserved it (3877)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:23pm - work - by ams (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I decided to wear my Ugg boots to work. I forgot that my office is carpeted and that the fur in my boots makes me shock every metal thing I touch. I work with computers all day. FML

#9021346
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6928) - you deserved it (31444)

On 03/12/2010 at 11:39am - work - by jewel87 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it's the third anniversary of when I started looking for a new job. I'm still working at the job that made me want to get a new one and I haven't even had an interview for another one in almost two years. My Master's degree on the wall is looking more and more like a roll of toilet paper. FML

#8990477
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22066) - you deserved it (3148)

On 03/11/2010 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to the bathroom to take a piss. While washing my hands, I heard someone taking a large dump in one of the stalls. When he was finished, he left the bathroom without washing his hands. Turns out he was the IT guy I called to fix my computer. He sat down on my chair and used my keyboard. FML

#8979705
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25499) - you deserved it (2062)

On 03/10/2010 at 7:40pm - work - by penpendesrapen - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I got fired from my job as a postman, which I started yesterday. They fired me because I failed to deliver a bunch of papers to a road that no longer exists. FML

#8946577
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28265) - you deserved it (2134)

On 03/09/2010 at 2:41pm - work - by pat (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML

#8902353
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19301) - you deserved it (2143)

On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was listening to a client's heartbeat with a stethoscope, when I noticed one of my hairs had fallen on her chest. I tried to brush it off, but it didn't move, so I went to pick it up with my fingers. That's when I found it it wasn't my hair, it was hers... and it was still attached. FML

#8900483
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22694) - you deserved it (5295)

On 03/07/2010 at 7:44pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was so bored at work that I put a zip tie on my finger just for the excitement of trying to get it off. FML

#8880583
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7433) - you deserved it (18035)

On 03/06/2010 at 10:56pm - work - by Maxx (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received an e-mail from the Unemployment Department saying they had a job referral for me. After excitedly reading the description, I realised it was the job I'd just been fired from (at a much higher pay). If I don't go through the application process, I will be denied my unemployment. FML

#8862243
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22977) - you deserved it (2180)

On 03/06/2010 at 2:28am - work - by AlyssaBC (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a soldier in my unit had unknowingly lost a GPS in the woods and my section was sent to go find it. After hours of wading through chest high swamps in 32 degree weather, the GPS was found, thanks to the soldier who lost it. It was in his vest. FML

#8852783
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26389) - you deserved it (1870)

On 03/05/2010 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized I'd rather be constipated, sick, sit in long traffic lines and inadvertantly eat spoiled meat than spend another day at my shitty job. All things that happened to me today. FML

#8840296
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20080) - you deserved it (2411)

On 03/05/2010 at 3:01am - work - by Petergibbons - United States (California)



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