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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML

#15500531
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27167) - you deserved it (2807)

On 03/26/2011 at 4:54pm - work - by burntloyalty - United States

Today, I quit my job after I overheard my boss doing a 'hysterical' impression of me telling her about my dad's heart condition. FML

#15495668
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45501) - you deserved it (3536)

On 03/26/2011 at 8:05am - work - by dinomite -

Today, I was chosen to MC a function at work. I developed a terrible case of hiccups which made the audience giggle and groan for the duration of my time on stage. FML

#15461657
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22635) - you deserved it (2931)

On 03/24/2011 at 3:29am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML

#15445630
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36461) - you deserved it (4750)

On 03/23/2011 at 7:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, a coworker started to tell me about his weekend, without me even asking. Halfway through his story, I started to daydream and lost track of time. Bored, I told him, "Hey man, I'll call you back, I've got to get back to work." Then I remembered I wasn't on the phone. FML

#15441546
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12230) - you deserved it (43932)

On 03/22/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by PFCdavila (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

#15432254
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50089) - you deserved it (4695)

On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to work despite having a nasty cold. I didn't call up sick because last week when I called in, my boss said I was being "unprofessional and unacceptable." My boss sent me home with a written warning today, claiming that coming to work sick was "unprofessional and unacceptable." FML

#15431401
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39110) - you deserved it (3573)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:59pm - work - by SickandTired (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I wasn't allowed to work from home, despite being ill enough to just take the day off anyway, so 'there could be someone to answer the phone'. The phone didn't ring once all day. FML

#15421054
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25771) - you deserved it (2730)

On 03/21/2011 at 9:03pm - work - by letmeinplease - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to clock in at work, only to have the clock tell me I "wasn't scheduled", so I asked my boss what was going on. Turns out I was fired, and this was her way of avoiding conflict. FML

#15416414
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34315) - you deserved it (2709)

On 03/21/2011 at 3:01pm - work - by anonymous - United States

Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML

#15403907
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29302) - you deserved it (14860)

On 03/20/2011 at 7:29pm - work - by AwkwardWaitress (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was late for the bus. I chased after it for 3 blocks until I realized that the bus driver was laughing at me trying to catch her. FML

#15393060
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31721) - you deserved it (8232)

On 03/20/2011 at 1:08am - work - by Matt - United States (Michigan)

Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML

#15366676
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32289) - you deserved it (6633)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by B-rent - United States

Today, I finished and turned in the last of the seventeen major projects for the company I work for. As I was walking out of my bosses office, I hear her ask her assistant "She finished everything we didn't want to do, can we fire her now?" FML

#15356107
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38168) - you deserved it (2890)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:37pm - work - by inpuredeceit (woman) - United States (California)



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