Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I didn't get promoted, but the guy who showed up to work drunk a few weeks ago did. FML

#6691372
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29198) - you deserved it (2582)

On 12/10/2009 at 5:38am - work - by Hmmwtf (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I really wanted something to drink. I looked in the fridge, and found some of my grandma's soy milk. I decide to take a swig, and instead of tasting soy, I tasted rotten chicken. Turns out my grandma knew I drink her soy milk and decided to swap it with expired chicken broth. FML

#6689235
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8493) - you deserved it (35997)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:41am - work - by souped (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

#6688959
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31959) - you deserved it (2208)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:24am - work - by g_unit (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I showed up on set for a film that I booked a role in weeks ago. At the time of the audition, the script was being rewritten, so today I was so excited and eager to be told what my role would entail. When they handed me the script, my character was described as a fat, ugly, awkward girl. FML

#6677293
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23760) - you deserved it (4486)

On 12/09/2009 at 6:13am - work - by okaythen6 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm travelling to England for an important meeting. I'm Norwegian, and my name is Bård. I have to introduce myself as bored the whole day, because that's how my name is pronounced. FML

#6662033
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31755) - you deserved it (2678)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

#6622206
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22654) - you deserved it (5708)

On 12/05/2009 at 8:24pm - work - by bleeding (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had an elderly man come to my cash register. His total came to $15.50 He handed me $5 in nickels and dimes. A full roll of quarters. Before I could take the roll, he bust it open, making me count it. After that was all counted he was 50 cents short. So he handed me a $10 bill. FML

#6594787
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33727) - you deserved it (2476)

On 12/04/2009 at 1:27am - work - by Chels (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was informed after submitting my request to have Christmas off about 2 weeks prior to Thanksgiving that I was denied. About 15 minutes later, I overheard the person that denied my request talking with another agent, who put their request in today, that they were granted the holiday off. FML

#6594646
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25135) - you deserved it (1711)

On 12/04/2009 at 1:12am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finished a 50 page term end thesis essay on the history of Russia. Looking over the final requirements once more, I find I made just a tiny little mistake. It was supposed to be a thesis on "Prussia". The paper's due tomorrow. FML

#6580357
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27587) - you deserved it (34871)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:08am - work - by WTFFAIL (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my very good friend ratted me out to my boss because I used the photocopier for personal use. He said he will always be my friend, but "rules are rules." FML

#6569085
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29361) - you deserved it (8059)

On 12/02/2009 at 3:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work I was told I'd be working over Christmas because I don't drink. Apparently if you're tee-total, you're not entitled to spend time with your family and are incapable of having fun. FML

#6565832
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27329) - you deserved it (3450)

On 12/02/2009 at 8:27am - work - by ostler (man) - United Kingdom

Today, at work, I was forced to listen to the Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers Christmas album on repeat for 8 hours. FML

#6563904
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33074) - you deserved it (3738)

On 12/02/2009 at 2:14am - work - by makeitstop - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my 2 week Christmas vacation my boss was talking about wasn't for this year, but 2010. I spent the day with my husband cancelling flights to Florida, and explaning to my 8 year old why we were not going to Disney World. FML

#6557406
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31443) - you deserved it (4296)

On 12/01/2009 at 8:32pm - work - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely something…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: