Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I had a job interview at the bowling alley. The manager was busy and asked if I could wait. Let's just say I've never bowled before, and I wanted to know how deep the hole was on the bowling ball. The interview ended with him spitting on my finger, trying to get it out. FML

#6739900
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5779) - you deserved it (28119)

On 12/13/2009 at 4:31pm - work - by bowler (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15413) - you deserved it (21197)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my coworker asked to borrow my nail clippers so he could take care of a hangnail. He went to the bathroom, which I thought was polite, but when he got back to his desk and returned my clippers, there were little curly hairs stuck inside. He's bald. FML

#6695402
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30846) - you deserved it (2713)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:41pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I didn't get promoted, but the guy who showed up to work drunk a few weeks ago did. FML

#6691372
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29183) - you deserved it (2582)

On 12/10/2009 at 5:38am - work - by Hmmwtf (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I really wanted something to drink. I looked in the fridge, and found some of my grandma's soy milk. I decide to take a swig, and instead of tasting soy, I tasted rotten chicken. Turns out my grandma knew I drink her soy milk and decided to swap it with expired chicken broth. FML

#6689235
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8488) - you deserved it (35991)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:41am - work - by souped (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

#6688959
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31889) - you deserved it (2198)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:24am - work - by g_unit (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I showed up on set for a film that I booked a role in weeks ago. At the time of the audition, the script was being rewritten, so today I was so excited and eager to be told what my role would entail. When they handed me the script, my character was described as a fat, ugly, awkward girl. FML

#6677293
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23753) - you deserved it (4486)

On 12/09/2009 at 6:13am - work - by okaythen6 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm travelling to England for an important meeting. I'm Norwegian, and my name is Bård. I have to introduce myself as bored the whole day, because that's how my name is pronounced. FML

#6662033
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31747) - you deserved it (2677)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

#6622206
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22638) - you deserved it (5708)

On 12/05/2009 at 8:24pm - work - by bleeding (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had an elderly man come to my cash register. His total came to $15.50 He handed me $5 in nickels and dimes. A full roll of quarters. Before I could take the roll, he bust it open, making me count it. After that was all counted he was 50 cents short. So he handed me a $10 bill. FML

#6594787
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33714) - you deserved it (2477)

On 12/04/2009 at 1:27am - work - by Chels (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was informed after submitting my request to have Christmas off about 2 weeks prior to Thanksgiving that I was denied. About 15 minutes later, I overheard the person that denied my request talking with another agent, who put their request in today, that they were granted the holiday off. FML

#6594646
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25121) - you deserved it (1711)

On 12/04/2009 at 1:12am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finished a 50 page term end thesis essay on the history of Russia. Looking over the final requirements once more, I find I made just a tiny little mistake. It was supposed to be a thesis on "Prussia". The paper's due tomorrow. FML

#6580357
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27578) - you deserved it (34855)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:08am - work - by WTFFAIL (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my very good friend ratted me out to my boss because I used the photocopier for personal use. He said he will always be my friend, but "rules are rules." FML

#6569085
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29355) - you deserved it (8057)

On 12/02/2009 at 3:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: