Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I woke up screaming after a nightmare about clowns, which wouldn't be too bad if I hadn't been surrounded by coworkers. FML

#15274441
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14089) - you deserved it (25984)

On 03/11/2011 at 11:05am - work - by scaredofbozo -

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for 'the trouble' I caused. FML

#15247228
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36734) - you deserved it (3348)

On 03/09/2011 at 12:36am - work - by Cashier (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was babysitting for my usual. After putting the baby to sleep I put some popcorn in the microwave and went to the bathroom. When I came out the whole kitchen was filled with smoke. One of the neighbors saw and called 911. I'm out of a job. FML

#15214579
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10785) - you deserved it (30439)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:18am - work - by Dx - United States (California)

Today, I was told that I was an idiot by a little girl because I didn't deliver a pizza to her house fast enough. FML

#15205906
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26748) - you deserved it (8549)

On 03/05/2011 at 10:46am - work - by deliveryboy - China (Shanghai)

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

#15193678
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15133) - you deserved it (26373)

On 03/04/2011 at 2:13am - work - by sharni88 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that if you see a picture in your boss's office of a extremely good looking, big breasted woman kissing him on the cheek, not to comment. Because that extremely good looking, big breasted woman, just might be his daughter. FML

#15193214
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10658) - you deserved it (40428)

On 03/04/2011 at 1:07am - work - by st00pid (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on a conference call and digital meeting at work when I got bored and started surfing the Internet. Little did I know that my desktop was being shared. My boss was on the call and saw everything. FML

#15188781
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6582) - you deserved it (34118)

On 03/03/2011 at 7:39pm - work - by hardlyworking - United States

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39380) - you deserved it (24339)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program being over, we catch some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML

#15182858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23366) - you deserved it (4766)

On 03/03/2011 at 1:58am - work - by Pickle (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

#15178043
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36318) - you deserved it (4224)

On 03/02/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by Worstjob (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boss lectured me on the evils of alcohol and how it was 'prohibited' during the 1980s. I said nothing because he hates being corrected. FML

#15174288
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26201) - you deserved it (3693)

On 03/02/2011 at 10:28am - work - by Squinty6 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work I tried to help an old man by opening the door for him. He flipped me off because I was wearing a Kansas State University shirt. FML

#15172903
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25413) - you deserved it (8840)

On 03/02/2011 at 5:10am - work - by Ivan -

Today, I had to explain to my one person on my staff why having kids aged 6 to 9 hammering in screws with the butt end of a screwdriver is neither safe, nor a good idea. FML

#15170872
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22447) - you deserved it (2784)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:22am - work - by AntiBobTheBuilder (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: