Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML

Today, in the locker room at work, someone tried writing "douche bag" on my locker, and misspelled it four times before apparently giving up. FML

by The Last One / 03/11/2012 at 1:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I found out that the gnat infestation in my dorm room was not caused by the recent cool weather, but rather the rotten pear I found under my roommates bed. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 1:12pm / United States / Work

Today, while on trial for a desperately needed new job, I tripped crossing a road with my would-be manager. I twisted my ankle, and he had to carry me across the road and call a taxi for me to go home. FML

by Katie / 03/09/2012 at 1:48am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I accused a student in my class of getting his dad to do his homework. It turns out that his dad died 2 years ago. FML

by ITM21 / 03/09/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Work

Today, I received the results of the exams that I re-took in order to improve my grades. I got exactly the same grades as before in all four exams. Point for point identical. FML

by stuckonrepeat / 03/08/2012 at 3:06am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Work

Today, I was at a meeting. One of the other members decided to share that their cat had passed away recently. I got an uncontrollable nervous laugh, started crying because I was laughing so hard, and left the room while everyone watched in horror. FML

by Honey Badger / 03/08/2012 at 12:47am / United States / Work

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML

by Janitor / 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, I had to use the restroom while at work. I had the choice of the stall with a broken lock, or the stall with a huge crack in the partition wall. Not two minutes after I sat down, I noticed someone peeking in. FML

by Me / 03/07/2012 at 1:24pm / United States / Work

Today, my mom told me that Walmart had called and I had an interview at 9:30. I went to Walmart. They told me they didn't have any interviews set up. I went back home and listened to the voice-mail on her cellphone. It was the Subway in Walmart. I've been looking for a job for 3 months. FML

by Jake / 03/07/2012 at 6:14am / United States (Idaho) / Work

Today, at work, we had an extremely rude customer who started cussing at us, and my coworker started cussing back. I jumped on the register to quickly bring down the line, and apologized to everyone for the scene. A secret shopper was in the line and claimed that I was rude. I got written up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2012 at 1:46am / United States / Work

Today, I had six long hours with the same math teacher. To get home, I travel by bus. Guess who sat down next to me for the whole trip. FML

by laviestpasimal / 03/06/2012 at 7:14pm / France / Work

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brew master at a beer company. FML

by sdk2010 / 03/06/2012 at 12:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work