Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, at work, a customer asked for my number. When I declined, he made a huge scene, shouting and scaring other customers. He tipped me seven cents. FML

#17980865
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25709) - you deserved it (2449)

On 10/14/2011 at 5:35am - work - by scribbler8 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

#17973373
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33694) - you deserved it (2141)

On 10/13/2011 at 4:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that the redneck, hick, abusive family that my co-workers always joke about is my family. FML

#17958563
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27683) - you deserved it (3779)

On 10/11/2011 at 7:52am - work - by anon - United States

Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML

#17958269
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24479) - you deserved it (2419)

On 10/11/2011 at 5:43am - work - by Anony-moose (woman) - United States

Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML

#17948621
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23811) - you deserved it (4563)

On 10/10/2011 at 12:13am - work - by melikeyturtles - United States

Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML

#17948173
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30839) - you deserved it (2461)

On 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm - work - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML

#17940087
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33580) - you deserved it (2457)

On 10/09/2011 at 1:11am - work - by ab (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML

#17932386
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14495) - you deserved it (43375)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:49am - work - by Laura - United States

Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML

#17930849
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27518) - you deserved it (3306)

On 10/07/2011 at 9:23pm - work - by Lucas79 - Australia

Today, I got my first job after having spent months looking, and graduating college in the meantime. I got it based on my pre-college qualifications. FML

#17928549
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25288) - you deserved it (3150)

On 10/07/2011 at 3:32pm - work - by jdmarine83 - United States

Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML

#17927200
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29394) - you deserved it (3478)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:58am - work - by Dr.Octopus454 (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML

#17925630
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36655) - you deserved it (2238)

On 10/07/2011 at 1:55am - work - by bdjsbskl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was suspended from work. Some lady went to the manager and told them that I was stalking her, all because I would kindly greet her everyday at the grocery store. I'm the cashier. FML

#17921774
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28084) - you deserved it (2052)

On 10/06/2011 at 6:28pm - work - by hazlanz216 - Canada (British Columbia)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: