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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML

#15403907
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26791) - you deserved it (14029)

On 03/20/2011 at 7:29pm - work - by AwkwardWaitress (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was late for the bus. I chased after it for 3 blocks until I realized that the bus driver was laughing at me trying to catch her. FML

#15393060
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29492) - you deserved it (8012)

On 03/20/2011 at 1:08am - work - by Matt - United States (Michigan)

Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML

#15366676
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32259) - you deserved it (6631)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by B-rent - United States

Today, I finished and turned in the last of the seventeen major projects for the company I work for. As I was walking out of my bosses office, I hear her ask her assistant "She finished everything we didn't want to do, can we fire her now?" FML

#15356107
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35473) - you deserved it (2697)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:37pm - work - by inpuredeceit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from the office telling me I was fired. When I asked why, my boss explained my mother called and told him I was in a "weak mental state." She thought she was helping me get off for my birthday. Now I have no job. FML

#15350541
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36032) - you deserved it (3053)

On 03/17/2011 at 10:43am - work - by jezebel (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I put signs up in the lifts at work with my name and desk phone number as the contact in case the lifts break down. I work in IT so there are hundreds of men in the building. Someone has already drawn a very wonky heart next to my name. FML

#15349045
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18981) - you deserved it (4844)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:00am - work - by Peppermint (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16332) - you deserved it (48256)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got into a bad car accident, where I got severe whiplash, swollen knees, and cuts everywhere. I called my boss to let him know I wouldn't be able to make it in and he fired me for being 'not dependable'. FML

#15325313
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36100) - you deserved it (3293)

On 03/15/2011 at 6:57pm - work - by in pain -

Today, I was fired from the trucking company I work for, due to numerous complaints about my reckless driving. I don't even do driving work there, but my ex keeps calling in to report me, and my boss wanted the calls to stop. FML

#15285580
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36296) - you deserved it (2985)

On 03/12/2011 at 6:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that my boss is able to read all the emails my coworker and I send each other. Most of them are about how she is such a shitty boss. FML

#15281483
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9420) - you deserved it (38667)

On 03/12/2011 at 3:34am - work - by mommyfairy - United States

Today, I woke up screaming after a nightmare about clowns, which wouldn't be too bad if I hadn't been surrounded by coworkers. FML

#15274441
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13887) - you deserved it (25630)

On 03/11/2011 at 11:05am - work - by scaredofbozo -

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for 'the trouble' I caused. FML

#15247228
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36708) - you deserved it (3348)

On 03/09/2011 at 12:36am - work - by Cashier (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was babysitting for my usual. After putting the baby to sleep I put some popcorn in the microwave and went to the bathroom. When I came out the whole kitchen was filled with smoke. One of the neighbors saw and called 911. I'm out of a job. FML

#15214579
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10780) - you deserved it (30427)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:18am - work - by Dx - United States (California)



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