Today, at my workplace, I saw a system crashing. I mean literally, my manager was throwing my colleague's laptop at him while shouting around the office. This is only my second day. FML

by in_hardik / 06/10/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Work

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2012 at 4:47am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, is the third day since I opened my small coffee shop. My parents had given me a nice frame to put my first dollar from working in. I had to sneak in a dollar from my own wallet so they wouldn't know how bad business was when they came to visit. FML

by jeremyj / 06/09/2012 at 8:24pm / United States / Work

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

by WaffleMan / 06/08/2012 at 7:58am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, after a spate of bad ones, I was in another job interview trying my hardest to give a good impression. After answering a few questions, I realized to my horror that while I was talking I was swiveling my chair from left to right like a nervous child. FML

by Swivel / 06/07/2012 at 8:17am / Singapore / Work

Today, my brother, the plumber, was called to unblock a toilet. Whenever this occurs, he takes a photo of it and sends it to me. It always seems to happen around meal time. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2012 at 8:55am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I realized my paranoia is really bad when I saw my coworker holding a knife and immediately began thinking of ways to keep him from stabbing me. I work in a restaurant kitchen. FML

by Jonas / 06/06/2012 at 1:00am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, it was the last day of school, and I said goodbye to one of my students. She then told me how to correctly pronounce her name. I'd said it wrong all year. FML

by Mark / 06/05/2012 at 10:21pm / United States / Work

Today, I was at work, reading some funny stories on my phone. Just as one of my co-workers decided to share that his father had passed away recently, I burst into uncontrollable, teary-eyed laughter at a story. They don't believe my explanation, and have branded me the office asshole. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2012 at 2:47pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Work

Today, a little girl walked up to me at Target and asked me what my name was. I smiled and told her my name was Kristen. She looked at the skirt I was wearing and said, "Kristen, can you wear pants tomorrow?" FML

by whattdafuuukkkk / 06/05/2012 at 7:56am / United States / Work

Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML

by kufan1324 / 06/04/2012 at 11:47pm / United States / Work

Today, I caught a coworker at my new job staring at my chest. Trying not to rock the boat, I took him aside and asked him to stop. He insisted he was just trying to read my shirt. Our company uniforms don't have writing on them. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2012 at 6:41pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2012 at 4:27pm / United States / Work