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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at work I grabbed some customer keys off the board. I was checking out their cool flashlight keychain. At the exact moment I realized it wasn't a keychain, I pepper sprayed myself directly in the right eye. FML

Today, after two months of unemployment, I got a call from a marketing firm offering me an interview for an entry-level position. While Googling the company, I discovered it's a scam. I graduated college in 3 years with a 3.5 GPA, and the only interview I can get is at a fake company. FML

#1394893
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43275) - you deserved it (3423)

On 04/27/2009 at 3:46pm - work - by Journo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

#1382386
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32181) - you deserved it (6887)

On 04/27/2009 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, one of the guests I was in the middle of seating knocked an empty wine glass from the table. I assured them it was all right and kneeled down to pick up the now broken glass. The lady insisted on helping as far as picking the glass up and dumping the shards into my open hands. FML

#1342921
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38784) - you deserved it (2529)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:35am - work - by shadowednavi (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML

#1316635
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47149) - you deserved it (3570)

On 04/25/2009 at 10:23am - work - by Gabrielguitar (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was fired from my job of 5 years. I was let go because I couldn't take the company to 'the next level'. My now ex-boss asked me if I could process my severance check because he didn't know how. I had to write myself my last paycheck. FML

#1315849
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46598) - you deserved it (1940)

On 04/25/2009 at 9:31am - work - by feistychick (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, was my graduation from a prestigious university. In two days I start working at a hot dog stand. FML

#1312643
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53807) - you deserved it (12271)

On 04/25/2009 at 2:39am - work - by CollegeGrad (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticed her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushed the payment process up and handed her the receipt. The little boy says "Mommy" and the mom looks down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walks out. The boy peed on the floor. FML

#1309415
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46254) - you deserved it (1529)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:35am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received a mass email from my boss saying we had a position open at the daycare I work at. I knew my boyfriend was looking for a job so I insisted he apply. Later at work, my boss takes me into her office and tells me my employment is being "terminated". My boyfriend is replacing me. FML

#1284518
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49177) - you deserved it (3772)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:41am - work - by jcstpierre (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss confessed to me that she doesn't know how to change the staples in the staplers at work, so she just switches them when they run out. We work at an office supply store. She makes six figures. I make $10 an hour. And she just got awarded a trip to Aruba for doing a "great job". FML

#1280200
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50414) - you deserved it (2130)

On 04/24/2009 at 12:36am - work - by Idiocracy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at my job at an ophthalmology office I was checking a patient's vision. In broken English he tried to explain to me that he couldn't see out of his eye. After trying to assess his vision for 5 min, I finally realized what he was trying to tell me. I was checking his vision in his FAKE eye. FML

#1274671
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11569) - you deserved it (30815)

On 04/23/2009 at 10:15pm - work - by COA (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed like a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his arms really wide to me... so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door first. FML

#1259659
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14234) - you deserved it (43296)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:51pm - work - by Kylene (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

#1253914
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52468) - you deserved it (4121)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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