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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I volunteered to cater an event at school. A little girl asked for a big slice of cake so I gave it to her. She then puked everywhere and her parents blamed me and made me clean it up. The little girl sat there smiling at me while I cleaned. FML

#18504719
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28619) - you deserved it (3507)

On 12/13/2011 at 5:43pm - work - by thathottchickk - United States (Washington)

Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML

#18502844
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32767) - you deserved it (3159)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:33pm - work - by microtech - United States (New York)

Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML

#18501912
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30228) - you deserved it (2978)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:00am - work - by Anonymous - Malaysia

Today, I called in sick at work because I have the flu. This is my first sick day in the 2 years I've worked there. It's also the day the CEO made a surprise visit. My co-workers all got generous salary increases, and some of them promotions. I'm not included, simply because I wasn't there. FML

Today, I found out that I'm working on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I'm spending my favourite time of the year working for $8.70 an hour. At McDonald's. FML

#18498054
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39448) - you deserved it (9000)

On 12/12/2011 at 9:15pm - work - by myjobsucks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had an allergic reaction to my deodorant. My armpits wouldn't stop itching, and by the time my shift was over, they were raw and bloody. FML

#18494919
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32706) - you deserved it (3560)

On 12/12/2011 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was my first day at work as a waitress. The day ended with me owing my employers money, after I accidentally smashed an expensive bottle of wine on the floor. FML

#18493927
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26245) - you deserved it (4974)

On 12/12/2011 at 12:08pm - work - by isuckasawaitress (woman) - Singapore

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10350) - you deserved it (44774)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML

#18479274
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28426) - you deserved it (4107)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - work - by Poorman (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss' car. FML

#18469057
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31709) - you deserved it (4209)

On 12/09/2011 at 3:14pm - work - by charliebravo77 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML

#18459141
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25476) - you deserved it (3110)

On 12/08/2011 at 7:40am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the restaurant I work at. That was the highlight of my day. Apparently my life has gotten so boring I get excited over colored toothpicks. FML

#18458451
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23997) - you deserved it (4434)

On 12/08/2011 at 2:30am - work - by dulllife - United States (Texas)

Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML

#18452728
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35272) - you deserved it (2441)

On 12/07/2011 at 1:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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