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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found out my ex is applying for a job at my current company. She may be my boss. FML

#17384271
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28230) - you deserved it (3492)

On 08/06/2011 at 2:05am - work - by - Moved Across the Country (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML

#17380999
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24748) - you deserved it (2453)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:18pm - work - by joshua - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working at the hospital front desk when an elderly man started hurling racial slurs at another visitor. A fight broke out, so I stepped in and forcibly separated the two. The old man tripped and crashed to the floor. Now I'm under investigation for "contributing to workplace violence." FML

#17380808
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27605) - you deserved it (2630)

On 08/05/2011 at 7:51pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the woman I'm training at work asked, while staring intently at the keyboard, "now, which one of these buttons is the space-bar again?" She is 80 years old, types about 1 word per minute, and I have just one week to get her completely trained. FML

#17376704
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29081) - you deserved it (2595)

On 08/05/2011 at 10:42am - work - by jhftrainer23 - United States (Iowa)

Today, severely tired and pulling an all-nighter, I was editing documents at work. Eventually the words blurred together and "which" began to look funny, so I corrected them. I realized too late that I'd turned in the company's brochure with every "which" spelt as "witch". FML

#17368765
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13742) - you deserved it (26765)

On 08/04/2011 at 4:49pm - work - by Donny - United States

Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML

#17367681
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12569) - you deserved it (23566)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:47pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, I arrived in Africa to start my new job. I agreed to come to a city with little to no electricity, and poor water for triple the money I was making in Canada. I just realized my boss and I negotiated in two completely different currencies, and I'm now making half of what I used to. FML

#17364992
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23001) - you deserved it (35850)

On 08/04/2011 at 7:45am - work - by Depressed (woman) - Sudan

Today, a customer threw his cup of coffee at me screaming that it wasn't hot enough. Well, maybe it wasn't hot enough for him, but it was sure hot enough to burn me. FML

#17358704
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35018) - you deserved it (2160)

On 08/03/2011 at 7:46pm - work - by localbarista (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while leaving work, I noticed a woman struggling with her wheelchair. Trying to be kind, I grabbed the handles and began to push her. A few moments later, the front wheels caught on something and I ended up dumping her onto the ground. Now my coworkers all think I'm a huge douche. FML

#17348241
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32818) - you deserved it (5254)

On 08/02/2011 at 9:47pm - work - by t2t2sync - United States (New York)

Today, a friend from work threw a party. We each had to dress up as a deceased celebrity. I thought it'd be a perfect time to dress up as Marilyn Monroe. When I arrived to the party, my boss said, "But... Rosie O'Donnell isn't dead." FML

#17347220
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29846) - you deserved it (6331)

On 08/02/2011 at 7:46pm - work - by theonlychildd1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML

#17343796
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29576) - you deserved it (4960)

On 08/02/2011 at 1:47pm - work - by ImScrewed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML

#17338822
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23512) - you deserved it (2433)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:43am - work - by Username - Australia

Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML

#17323826
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10134) - you deserved it (32616)

On 07/31/2011 at 8:07pm - work - by MikeMorin18 - United States



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