Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I found out a guy I work with has an eye twitch. I thought he was just a winker. I have been winking back all week. He either thinks I'm an asshole or am trying to seduce him. FML

#14105864
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11845) - you deserved it (20048)

On 12/06/2010 at 9:38am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was directing a video shoot of a big Christmas show with 750 people attending. After the first half of the show recorded; during intermission, I accidentally deleted the show as people were signing up to buy the DVD. FML

#14102219
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21464) - you deserved it (15098)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:00am - work - by kermudgen - United States

Today, a customer tried to pay for a $1.55 cup of coffee with a gift card, but he came up a dollar short. He let another customer through while he fumbled in his pocket for money. I later noticed a dollar had disappeared from my tip jar. FML

#14095339
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24868) - you deserved it (3462)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:36pm - work - by barista (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss finally pronounced my name correctly. My name was then followed by the words "You're fired." FML

#14074861
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24330) - you deserved it (2138)

On 12/03/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got fired from the job I'd had for eleven years for going onto Facebook while on the clock. When I got home, I saw that my boss had updated his status, from work, to "Finally fired that bitch." FML

#14070103
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32469) - you deserved it (9064)

On 12/03/2010 at 9:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I told my students that I would be taking a few weeks off because a member of my family is very ill. They all cheered. FML

#14046266
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25104) - you deserved it (8911)

On 12/01/2010 at 9:14am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML

#14043975
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31832) - you deserved it (3257)

On 12/01/2010 at 1:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq

Today, a customer at the store I work at asked me what kind of cake I would suggest for her husband's 50th birthday. I laughed and showed her the Grim Reaper cake. She burst into tears and explained that he has cancer. FML

#14041933
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13329) - you deserved it (55648)

On 11/30/2010 at 10:39pm - work - by Username -

Today, at the coffee shop where I work, my supervisor smelled "something weird, like sulfur." I spent the next ten minutes pretending to look for the source of the smell with her, rather than admit that it had come from me. FML

#14035963
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7925) - you deserved it (25798)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:49pm - work - by oopsididitagain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at work, I cringed as I noticed my caveman colleague frantically digging into his nose and then continuing the use of his computer. I work in IT support and will be rebuilding his computer and reinstalling all his applications in 30 minutes time. FML

#14034046
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20618) - you deserved it (1966)

On 11/30/2010 at 9:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

#14033454
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32305) - you deserved it (2201)

On 11/30/2010 at 6:30am - work - by Tony -

Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

#14029535
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24677) - you deserved it (6295)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

#14021312
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24994) - you deserved it (5437)

On 11/29/2010 at 5:46am - work - by figgy - United States (Massachusetts)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: